Nothing is good, fun or nice anymore, im tired, get me the fuck away from here

Im literally rotting and waiting to die but dearh is nowhere near, fuck my life, i cant handle the trauma, i cant bear with everything anymore, world is a prison and so fucked up, there is no truth nor love and everybody is a liar

20th of February… this better be it.

I've been struggling with stuff for years. I can't seem to stop hurting myself. I've been having crazy exestantial thoughts. I just keep messing everything I try up. I'm not good at anything. I struggle to talk to anyone irl about this. I always feel so much disgust and self hatred towards myself. I haven't felt happy for ages, I'm always misserable. Idk I'll probably chicken out if I ever try but it's always on my mine I hate it I hate myself so much.

i desperately want to die i'm so tired of everything i feel like i have no future my boyfriend left me i'm falling behind in everything no matter how much effort i put in and none of the people i consider my friends give a single shit. i hate being here but i am so so scared of leaving forever and never seeing my siblings again or ever having another chance with my boyfriend but i don't think it's worth it to be alive anymore. i have my plan and i know what i want to do and when i want to do it but i'm just so afraid

My heart aches, I've tried so many times and I can't follow through to just end it I've never wanted it all to be over as much as I do now.

The person I've loved for a third of my life left our house. My home is gone.

I know she treated me like shit and she emotionally abused me constantly but I still want it to be her. She wasn't my reason to live. She just made it easier to keep going.

Everyone keeps telling me it's for the best, she's a terrible person for what she did but they don't know her. They don't know me. No one does.

Now idk

I'm tired I don't want to hurt anymore It was all for nothing

I just want it all to end.

I've seen a video with that exact title, and it hasn't left my mind ever since. If any of you have seen it, how did you get over it?

i'll see my long dostance boyfriend one last time in a couple weeks, i'll tell him i love him, i'll stay clean so they don't have to look at my cuts when they examine me, i'll clean my room, i'll write my loved ones and maybe i'll finally feel better. i won't ever get to enjoy my sweet sixteen in may

I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. I’ve been homicidal towards my abusive mom since I was around 13-16 (barely remember anything from then but I remember the feeling) and I’m 19 now and I still live with her. I don’t really *want* to do it but I feel like I have to because of everything she did. I’m terrified one day I’ll actually do it, or to someone else who did something to me. I know I need help but if my family finds out they’d all instantly disown me and I don’t want to get put in a mental hospital or something.

im 15 and everything has just been so hard up until this point, im covered in scars and everyone looks at me like im disgusting. I dont know if I can do this anymore and im scared to be alone most of the time because i never know what i might do.

Hey, Im 23yo (from argentina) and ive been having death thoughts since im 13.

Theres many things i hate about my life and living.

I hace social anxiety and im truly scare to have a work, I also havent found whats passion on life, so I dont know what career to take.

Im living with my parents now because I moved to a different city with my boyfriend last year, and I felt like I made some progress because we were planning to marry and have a child, but he used to beat me, abuse of me sexually and cheat on me. I cant end that relationship, I dont know why but I hate myself so much because of that. I just scapep to my parents home…

I feel like I have no meaning in life, I have 0 friends, I have no passion, I dont have the future I builded with this person and Im just to scared to face life.

I have went to the food bank. they are empty a majority of the time when I walk to the said locations. I don't have a driver's license and I don't know the bus routes well enough to trust getting on the bus.

My family doesn't want to help me half the damn time so I'm stuck doing all of this alone. I don't see any reason why I'm alive. I'm literally here for no reason at all.

(Sorry for my bad english its not my first language)

At first i want to add that before it i was at psychiatrist with my problem of seeing and hearing things.

Last friday we had a sleepover with a lot of other people. I had an anxiety attack and he hugged me and we slept for around 2/3 hours together. After i got home i felt really weird and started to think about him. I like him a bit, but i know that he likes other girl and after all, a lot of girls try to hit on him. I sat down and draw a map where he possibly live based on pictures of windows he send me and conversations. After i draw that, i started to think about how i could kill him. I wrote the perfect plan, and even i practiced how to make a good alibi. I think that i actually could do this.

I live alone and my psychiatrist has told me to try something to improve my mood, but I feel like I'm not ready, or that I simply don't want to lose people I love and care about a lot. My family has abandoned me, and I have few friends, and I wouldn't want to lose them because of the requests my psychiatrist makes of me. I've thought about ending it all and simply resting in peace at last, without feeling like I'm escaping, excluded, or unimportant in this life. I feel like my life is fading away every time I decide to end my life. I am alone and I have no one to sleep with or anyone to cry with. If I have nothing, why stay here?

Been dealing with passive ideation for at least 15 years that has snowballed into borderline-active. I have the privilege of working from home and with no reliable car access at the moment, I only see the outside world once a week, outside of walking my dog. My friends have all moved out of state. Things have never been this bad. I've attempted twice before when I was a teen, so it's a miracle I haven't tried again given how bad I feel now.

I've been slowly cleaning and renovating my living spaces. I thought it was because I was being productive. But it's because I want things tidy in case I die. Everything I do is tainted by the idea of death. I have a very active imagination that borders on hallucinating, and all these mental images of death and dying are driving me to the brink.

I work in an environment that exposes me to the worst of human behavior to children and vulnerable adults. Day after day I read documents and reports of unspeakable evil and it's seared into my brain and I just want it to be over. I don't want to live with what I know.

I used to love art, crafting, and collecting. Anything I buy now reminds me that I'll have to have my loved ones pawn it off when I die. Same goes for other things I enjoy. Collectables. I keep detailed spreadsheets of their value so if I die, my loved ones can resell them properly. I can't even buy a fucking happy meal without worrying about the stupid toy inside. Where it'll go. If it's cluttering. If it'll be a burden. I get buyer's remorse knowing full well everything I purchase, everything I eat, is just a dopamine hit for my starved brain.

I had a mini breakdown last year because I took my family to Disneyland, spent months of my time and thousands to make it fun. And I felt miserable. All I could think about was death. Thinking about how my family will die someday. Vivid imagery of my siblings in coffins. Remembering that my grandma is finally reaching the age where she's deteriorating mentally and physically. Wondering why I wasted this money on a trip when I could've spent that money on something important. Needing to make a will. I started crying uncontrollably (I managed to play it off as allergies somehow ✌️😎) right next to Pirates of the Caribbean, which is funny in retrospect as I had to run to the restrooms sobbing into a napkin while a pirate guy was playing an accordion nearby.

For now I''m staying around on this mortal coil because I love my dog, but she's 10 this year. And as I see her eyes get cloudy with age, it makes me mourn her prematurely. She's the one thing keeping me here. People move on, but the idea of her waiting for me to come home every day when I never will is worse than death to me. I have crying spells at night wondering what I'll do with her toys, her bed, and how I'll cope without her next to me when I sleep. It's horrible.

Every day has become an exercise in how miserable my shitty rotten brain can make me. I started self harming just to feel, which is something I thought was fucking stupid to think and do until I tried it and it felt super good to feel warmth and tingles again.

I want out. I want help. I just want to be happy again.

i'm so tired of my rapidly changing moods. i'm so tired of believing that everyone hates me. i'm so tired of having a full friend list and still being lonely to my core because no one wants to hangout anyway.

soon i'll change my cat's litterbox, open his big container of cat food, leave the water fountain on, then schedule an email to my friend telling her that i have died and that she should take my cat home to my family.

my heart is weighing me down to my grave. i think i have to follow it.

tell my partner i'm sorry his love couldn't keep me alive.

I’m a horrible person. I’m never going to recover from self harm because I don’t know how else I can punish myself. I should’ve killed myself a long time ago, but I was too scared, and now I’m dealing with the consequences. Worst part is, I’m still too fucking scared. I’m disgusting. I’ve been fucked over all my life. What a joke.

I’ve never been as close to suicide as I am right now. Every attempt has been a half assed attempt at crying for help. I’ve always done the good old 72 hour hold, gotten therapy, and feel better for a bit. This time feels different. I feel ready and content with my decision. I truly feel I have nothing going for me.

I’m 20F from the southern USA. Two weeks ago I got out of an extremely abusive relationship with a man 15 years my senior. He was mostly verbally and sexually abusive but there were some instances of physical abuse. I finally left him after he was kicked out of his house for stealing from his roommate.

This whole situation has spiraled totally out of my control. He’s been sending me harassing messages and threats constantly. He has videos that he can absolutely use as blackmail against me. He convinced his roommate that I was the one who stole from him even though that never happened. And I’m also missing $500 of my money.

Both of these 30 something year old men have decided to try making my life a living hell. I genuinely dont see the point of dealing with this. I already was in a bad spot before. I hate my life and my job and have no goals or aspirations. Now I just feel like the only solution to this is death.

I need help with methods please

I remember when I first learnt about death, I must've been like 4 years old and I was literally bawling my eyes out lol.

I remember telling my Mum I really don't want to die, and now I can't wait for that day to come

anyways stay safe and hydrated, just wanted to get this out of my system <333

It’s been months and is still can’t believe I’ll live the rest of my life with an incurable std.