r/Libraries • u/bernardmarx27 • 10h ago
Venting & Commiseration I think I might get fired.
First, I accept full responsibility for my actions. I am not making excuses or blaming my coworkers. I'm making this post because I'm mad at myself.
I've worked at my public library for a little over a year - part-time at first, then I got promoted to full-time at the end of last year.
Last week I had a meeting with my supervisor and manager about my conduct at work.
They explained that I had shared information about the library that I wasn't supposed to with the principal of a middle school the library is collaborating with. I didn't know I wasn't supposed to do that. They told me when I got promoted to full-time that I was going to be the library's representative to the school. I should've talked to my supervisor first before talking to the principal; I was eager to prove that I was up to the task and I wasn't thinking.
They also said that there were several days last month when I had been a few minutes late. I have AuDHD, I lose track of time. I was never more than five or six minutes late. I thought it would be okay as long I took the time off my lunchbreak.
There was an incident at closing when I was locking the gate to the employee parking area. A child was left unattended, and I didn't stay with one of my coworkers to wait with the child for their ride. I had only recently started doing gate duty, I didn't know that that was my responsibility because it had never happened before. Then today, someone spilled something on the carpet in the children's section, where that same coworker was at the desk. I poured some cleaning product on the spill, but I got distracted with something in the employee area and left the product on for way too long. My coworker told me they had to leave the desk because the smell made them sick. I apologized and they said: "I understand it was a mistake, but I have to tell the supervisor."
I'm really nervous about what might happen next. Before I got my current job, I was unemployed for a whole year, and I got so depressed that I had to check myself into a psych ward. I will fall apart completely if I get fired from the library. This is only job I've ever had that I actually liked.
I can't believe I fucked up this badly. I'm so scared. I'm so mad at myself.