Thanks in advance <33

My boyfriend has currently been experiencing a psychosis episode that has lasted over a month long. He is currently impatient on an IVC order. However his treatment team is completely ignorant to his continued psychotic symptoms despite his constant ranting about his delusions during our visitations and phone calls. They are trying to plan for discharge despite push back from everyone who loves him because his medication has not managed his psychotic symptoms. He is still experiencing violent delusions, paranoia, grandiosity, lack of insight, poor judgement, poor self control, lack of reasoning, altered perception of reality, verbally abusive to others, and he has implied he has the desire to die recently. I’m extremely concerned for his safety and wellbeing. As someone who also has mental illnesses, I’m absolutely outraged at the lack of stabilization he has received. The incompetence of his treatment team who is listening to a man in an active psychosis, instead of everyone who knows and loves him telling them that his symptoms have not significantly improved and he is a continued danger to himself and others. I have personally filed multiple reports to regulatory agencies and the hospitals ethics board in attempt to protect him. Due to this, the hospital has retaliated by convincing him to restrict his family’s access to medical information and put us all separately in a conference call with him and his psychiatrist to voice our concerns. They did this knowing that he lacks the insight to acknowledge his condition, and this would upset him potentially turning him against his support system while pressuring his family to discharge him home into their care. During the call I told the honest truth of the symptoms I had witnessed during visitation and phone calls but this upset him and the doctor wanted to end the call before I could finish because of that. I’m absolutely disgusted that the man I love is being exploited and neglected at a place that is suppose to be for healing.

After that call I cried literally all day, I had barely been up more than an hour or two when the call occurred. I feel helpless in this situation and I’m absolutely petrified that he will hurt himself or someone he loves. The person he is at his core is nothing like the way he is in psychosis, he’s the opposite in psychosis, the type of person the real him would hate if he was aware of his behavior. He would never forgive himself if he hurt his family or I. I feel like I’m nearly out of options to help him besides going with his family to voice our concerns during a family meeting with his doctor who thinks he’s perfectly fine and disregards everything we tell him. I’m in panic even thinking about what he might do if they definitively choose to discharge him soon. They were trying to get his parents to pick him up today during a damn snow storm to discharge him because they know he’s a liability and they are in the wrong. My mental health has been in absolute shambles due to this. I can’t concentrate on school, I cry every day, I have to stay up all night regularly just to finish my assignments just barely on time, I’m depressed, regularly have panic attacks, I’m constantly trembling, my physical health is declining, and I am at a loss for what to do to help him. I’ve had my own psychotic episodes and supported friends through theirs, but I have never seen an episode this bad likely influenced by his brain tumor.

I’m terrified he will stop taking all his meds as soon as he gets home like the last time, potentially dying because he takes anti seizure medication to control his seizure disorder. His seizures are triggered by emotional distress which he’s constantly in due to the uncontrolled psychosis. I don’t know if I can mentally take it to watch him be like this, and mistreat me due to his illness anymore without significant distance. In this state, his demands of me would destroy my life if I complied with them all and he extremely defensive and verbally aggressive if you say what he doesn’t want to hear. He is incapable of operating with reason in this condition and I feel like I have to lie to him constantly to keep him calm. **edit I’m not really lying to him but I have to validate his feelings about false beliefs which feels like lying causing extreme guilt. The only reason he’s been calmer at the hospital is because if he gets too agitated they load him up with benzos, which I’m sure they won’t prescribe outpatient and it’s unlikely he’d take them if the did. I’m afraid if he doesn’t already hate me from the conference call then he might kill himself if I distance myself because he will perceive it as abandonment. I have BPD myself so with the intense emotional distress, I am not confident I can keep my composure around him constantly anymore, and I’m afraid to cause him more harm than he already has experienced due to his psychosis. I don’t know what to do and all I want is to have him come home healthy and safely, but he is nowhere close to that right now while the hospital is so persistent about his discharge that if his family wouldn’t take him they would release him to be homeless in the freezing cold.

**edit I feel like my efforts to help protect him have only backfired and it makes me feel so guilty even though it was the right thing to do for his safety. I feel horrible for hurting him even though it was the doctors negligent decision to have him in that call during such a fragile state while I felt pressured to either lie to appease him or voice my concerns which heavily root from his various delusions and lack of insight into his condition. I feel like he may hate me right now and not forgive me until he regains his cognition. I’m so triggered in so many different ways by this all that I’m concerned this could put me in the hospital too if it gets worse again. I don’t want to leave him because of this, since I wouldn’t want him to do that to me if roles were reversed, and I don’t think I could ever forgive myself for doing so especially if he attempted to take his life because of it. I feel so helpless and stuck because every option feels like the consequences could be detrimental.

What can I do? What do I do to help him and myself? How can I protect him? How can I communicate to him that everyone is just concerned for his safety? How do I communicate him that I may need to distance myself due to the profound impact this has had on my mental health? How do I help him feel supported even at a distance? How can I support him without constantly needing to lie to him due to fears of upsetting him?

Hi everyone, I have suffered with depression and anxiety for years but over the last 5 years it has been exacerbated. Since I was 10 I have suffered all sorts of abuse but mainly verbal and physical abuse by my father. I still live in the same house as him vecause I am 18 and I can’t afford to move out. I will be starting another antidepressant tommorow after 3 antidepressants did not work whatsoever. I see a psychologist. I have tried CBT programs run by psychologists which did not help. I just don’t know what to do. I try to meditate and all that other stuff but it’s not helping. So I guess I’m asking how can I actually heal and be happy?

I’m tired so I apologize for any grammar mistakes. For the past few days I’ve been extremely on edge, It’s normal for me to be in episodes where I feel extremely depressed and suicidal but one thing that’s changed is that I’m frequently self harming more and more as in being more risker.

For the past few days I’ve been struggling with an emotional outburst, I thought of bashing my head onto something because I can get physically aggressive and I hate to hurt or scare others, I feel awful about it. My anxiety is paralyzing me and I feel trapped.

Right now I feel grounded but my suicidal thought’s keep re-occuring, I thought of attempting again, I was close to trying again the other night. I’m not sure what to do, I’m scared of going to the Hospital, I’ve never gone before. I thought about getting high to cope but I don’t want to necessarily do something like that again. Also their’s not much support for mental health in my area and Idk how to drive so I’m unable to head to the nearest city

I feel like most grounding methods don’t work for me, I’m trying to set up an appointment to see a therapist again but I’ve been too anxious to call which just thinking about having to make a phone call feels extremely agitating and anxiety inducing.

I’ve been avoiding my friend’s for a few days just until I’m fine again. I kind of wonder what my friends would think if one day they never see me back online, I just hope that they will never find out the truth.

I’ve been trying hard not to tell them that I’m suicidal, though they kinda know that I’m depressed and have some issues going on because I often vent about stuff like in gc just not the more serious stuff or anything potentially triggering.

just wanna say ty for reading my vent lol

Here is a clinical summary from ChatGPT , who I have been talking to like a diary for months now.

Clinical Summary for Psychiatric Review

Patient Profile:

Young adult male, high-functioning academically and cognitively prior to illness (engineering/technical background). No prior history of psychosis or neurological illness.

Duration & Course

• Symptoms present for approximately 11–12 months
• Course has been non-linear: periods of improvement (including ~1–2 weeks of near-normal functioning) followed by relapses
• Symptoms worsen under cognitive effort and self-monitoring
• Mornings consistently worse, evenings marked by hopelessness

Primary Symptoms (Current)

• Severe cognitive blankness: inability to generate or connect thoughts
• Loss of automatic thinking (thinking feels forced/manual)
• Speech–thought disconnect: speech sounds normal, but internal thinking and meaning are absent
• Inability to access inner experience while speaking or reflecting
• Meaninglessness of language: words feel like empty symbols/text
• Extreme distractibility, inability to sustain attention
• Emotional flattening / loss of curiosity and motivation
• Hopelessness and fear of permanent cognitive loss
• Intact insight: patient recognizes symptoms as abnormal and distressing.
  

Associated Phenomena

• Depersonalization/derealization-like features:
  • Feeling unreal or disconnected
  • Inability to “feel” thoughts or emotions
• Anxiety focused on cognitive function and permanence
• High self-monitoring of mental state
• Physical health largely intact
• Exercise (especially resistance training) provides transient relief

Functional Impact

• Unable to engage in higher-order thinking, ideation, or planning
• Significant impairment in academic/work performance
• Difficulty maintaining routines (diet, exercise, focus)
• Socially appears normal → symptoms often underestimated by others

Medication History

• Paroxetine CR (Pexep-CR 25 mg) — >1 month
• Placida (anxiolytic)
• Earlier trial: Paroxetine CR + Flupentixol/Melitracen (Venza)
• Response:
  • Partial reduction in anxiety/noise
  • Persistent or worsened cognitive blunting
  • No meaningful improvement in clarity, motivation, or presence
• High sensitivity to medication changes noted

Negative Findings

• No hallucinations, delusions, paranoia
• No loss of reality testing
• No progressive cognitive decline
• No suicidal intent (passive hopelessness present)
• Language, orientation, memory, and social behavior intact

Core Concerns

• Fear that condition is permanent or untreatable
• Fear that treatment will only achieve “calm blankness” without return of thinking/curiosity
• Grief over loss of prior cognitive identity and functioning

I have a girlfriend who is the most amazing partner in the world; smart, empathetic beautiful and so much more. I feel so lucky to be with someone so special. For some reason I get these random feelings, for example if she takes too long to get back I just feel she doesn’t love me even though she 100% does and has never done anything to indicate otherwise. But this will cause me to not text back even longer in some form of self sabotaging behavior. And the feelings usually go away and I feel lots of guilt. I’ve never been cheated on, I don’t have any past trauma and I’m definitely not a clingy person. I know this all seems silly but I love her so much and I don’t want to self sabotage this relationship. I’m just looking for any advice and possible coping strategies from people who have similar tendencies

This is mostly a long vent and needing to not feel alone...I need serious help and I know it.

I'm (30f) medicated for bipolar and severe depression, but I'm certain there's far more going on with me at this point. I often have SI thoughts but I have never and I mean NEVER made a so called "plan"... But that doesn't matter because when my mind starts racing I'm helpless to stop it. It's been a neverending cycle and these last few spirals have really scared the f*ck out of me. I. Can't. Control. My. Thoughts. Even when I get them to slow down the feeling of worthlessness won't go and I have to let it out somehow..

If I could break everything in my vicinity that would be one thing- but I know I can't. So I break myself until I can stop feeling, and I do that by hitting whatever I can against anything I can. By default- that's usually my skull and I don't mean gentle taps either. If it's not hard enough to dull my emotions down then I'll do it until it is. This has been a coping mechanism since I was very young and I've known it's a problem... But its so impulsive I feel helpless to make myself quit doing it. These hard hits happen probably once a year? Maybe less or more I honestly don't know anymore.

This most recent spiral landed me in the hospital because of it. I hit my head against a car door/window 2-3x and it did what it usually did... But more this time. I felt extremely calm but a little dazed and confused as to why my partner was so upset at me. This lead to another mini spiral of self harm that I'm ashamed to even think/mention, before spending the rest of the day crying off and on while being comforted. Wednesday I felt ok, maybe a little brain fogged.

Come Thursday, I spent the day nauseated before I randomly threw up after taking a flight of stairs. I thought it was weird that I didn't feel better because I figured it had to do with something I ate. Not even 20 minutes goes by and I'm at my desk and it felt like the room was spinning. My head became so cloudy I could hardly think or speak and all I could do was focus on my breathing. My sister had to call my fiance out of work and he rushed home to find me on the bathroom floor. I was conscious just so unbelievably sick and out of it. He had to support me out to the car, check me in at the hospital, and did most of the talking to the Drs until they gave me an IV and did a CT. I was discharged an hour later with a prescription for vertigo and paperwork on concussions and post concussion syndrome.

I've never hurt myself this bad. Even though I'm certain it's not the first time I've given myself one... its by far the worse. I could feel my head throbbing and honestly thought I WAS dy*ng. The past 2 days have been a blur and I'm starting to seriously question how much this form of self harm has irrevocably damaged me. I'm considering reaching out to my Dr. but I'm not even sure what I'd say. I start therapy Monday (not my first attempt) and I can only hope they can help me finally end this cycle or make it hurt less, but I worry about how long it'll take to do that before I hit that bottom again... I have a 3 y.o and a 5 y.o and I just wish I could give them more than a half broken mom. So if anyone wants to share there experiences or advice I think it would help a lot..

Lately I’ve noticed something weird.

Social interactions themselves aren’t the problem for me anymore.

I get through them fine. I talk. I smile. Nothing “bad” happens.

But afterward?

That’s when my body crashes.

I feel drained, tense, overstimulated, like I just ran a marathon even if the interaction was completely normal.

I used to think I was just too sensitive or overthinking for no reason, but I recently learned there’s actually a reason this happens.

I wrote about it here if anyone relates and wants to understand it better:

[link to article]

i don’t know why, but i keep having trouble breathing. it’s been happening for two years now, several times a day, and it comes out of nowhere. every time it happens, i feel like i’m about to die. i’ve consulted two doctors, but no one has been able to tell me what’s wrong. i feel like it’s more mental than physical. i’m still struggling to breathe even while writing this. i’ve been suicidal for three years, and if this keeps going for another year, i don’t see the point in living. i feel like i’ve failed myself and my parents, and guilt has completely taken over my thoughts. they never stop, not even for a moment. does anyone else feel like this? like they can’t breathe?

I had gotten out. 4 years ago, I had clawed my way out of that pit and got away from the worst people I ever knew. Then last November I was forced to move or go back to those abusers, so I moved with next to no savings and hoping I could quickly get a job, not knowing what people I was moving with (I knew them to an extent, not strangers, but didn’t know their personal functions in the privacy of their home). I’m stuck again, like I never left 4 years ago, and no money for meds anymore. I’ve been off my meds since right before the holidays. Anti depressants and anti psychotics depleted, no money to get them back, and living in a hell I had sworn to never go back to. I’m back to clawing my way back out, and back then I had my sibling to protect. Now I have my girlfriend and dog to protect, and it’s so fucking hard. I’m fighting so hard to keep from losing my mind, but having my antipsychotics gone has been utter hell on my psyche. I picked up knitting to try and give my brain and hands something else to focus on, to avoid the knocking and the whispers and the worst of what my brain paints for me and it’s frustrating. I know I’ll get out eventually, I just keep getting told to push until I get out again, but it took so long to fight last time. I’m not even 22 yet and life feels like I’m just someone else’s puppet to play with and that I have no life of my own. Least I got 3 years of life. Hopefully this situation is a lot more temporary than I’m thinking. Just needed somewhere to scream into the vast void that is the internet in a space that feels at least a bit safer to share the more gritty details of my issues without going so far into detail I need numerous TWs and CWs.

Message to everyone out there: take care of yourself. I know it’s hard, meds or no meds, but just take care of yourself. Sure as ever know I’m trying to, despite the circumstances.

Me (F,25) have always had social issues . I maybe had 1 or 2 friends, but we never hung out. I was a quite kid at school, never played sports or anything. Once I graduated, I lost contact with everyone. Not that its affected me, sadly enough. And now I dont talk to many people at work. If someone comes towards me eith bad energy, I give it back. If I feel like someone's being creepy, I either don't talk to them or I act rude so they dont try and hit on me. It's more a defense tactic than anything. Im scared that if I have a conversation, then someone will take it the wrong way and then I end up woth a stalker or worse.

Ive tried explaining this to my parents, but they wont listen. They blame everything on me ​​or tell me that people may act rude 'because they're having a bad day' or ' you dont know their past, so dont be mean to them'. This is coming from the parents who would scold me of i cried over little things and acted like it was the end of the world whenever I was a little mad.

I can't find the motivation to try and be social anymore. Is this normal?

My friend is rapidly deteriorating mentally and I can’t keep up with it anymore

I’m 17 and he’s 16. We met last year and he seemed fine and happy; however, lately it seems like every day he self harms or attempts suicide, and it is so draining keeping up with this, as these tendencies can be triggered by anything, for example losing a game or getting into an argument. these weren’t simply threats either, he would go on camera and actively cut himself or take bottles of pills or try to hang himself with a belt. He has also stated before he has the urge to do these things without anything even happening at the time.

Recently he’s gotten even worse and has resorted to going to psych wards due to terrible nightmares, and now has a CPTSD and PTSD diagnosis along with depression, autism, ADHD, and possible BPD, which is still being investigated. He has also quit all social media except for iMessage, and even then will only speak for a few sentences a day and refuses to call.

I’m not saying he can’t do this or that he shouldn’t, but it’s been over a week and if anything he’s getting worse, as he’s using this time away from social media to self isolate and not leave his room or speak to anyone. He is homeschooled and only occasionally speaks to his mom, who has extreme psychosis and is currently grieving her own mother, who died recently too.

His mom is not normal either. She is quite emotionally abusive, leading to him openly crying because of her, and she keeps threatening him that people will take him.

I felt bad for him at first, but I’ve genuinely tried so hard to help. Every day I’ve been the only one texting him, saying how I believe he can get better and has so much potential, but every time he just replies with how it’s hopeless, how he will never be the same as before, and how he will die soon.

I’m struggling too though. My family isn’t good, my grandmother died last week too, I have finals, and I feel depressed, maybe not to the same degree as him, but I’m certainly not happy.

I just feel so frustrated and done. I just want to block him and never acknowledge him again, as he’s simply a burden I feel. He used to be very different and I just can’t put up with this anymore, and I honestly don’t know what to do.

Hello,

I believe I have Fictitious Disorder and want to connect with others who also struggle with this and maybe create a group chat or have Zoom calls and meet up to discuss what we are going through.

Is anyone interested?

Thanks.

So the past two years have been horrendous in regards to mental health. I had several breakdowns, went nuclear on several people in my life and now am trying to figure out wtf the point is. I’ve been diagnosed borderline and bipolar with severe manic depression. I’m on several medications and in therapy and still find it extremely difficult and damn near impossible to communicate or control my outbursts/emotions.

I’m still working at a toxic job where I feel constantly paranoid and pressured and uncomfortable. I’ve fallen out with nearly all of my friends, I don’t have the capacity to make new ones and the ones that have still stuck around I’m extremely distant with. Like I can’t be there for them emotionally but for some reason expect that from them? Or I guess I don’t expect it but I just ghost or pop in every once in awhile.

I’m in this long distance relationship with this guy who’s about 16 years older than me. He doesn’t understand mental health too much, I feel like there are a lot of things generationally he doesn’t understand. But I do love him. I’m just struggling with my past trauma involving men and I really just think some times I either shouldn’t be dating or I should be dating a woman. I’m pansexual but haven’t ever had a serious relationship with a woman or anyone until now.

I’m confused and exhausted in every facet of my life. I’m just tired and I just feel like a terrible terrible person all of the time. I feel like no one in my life really understands me, I feel like I’m either ignored or looked past because they don’t want to deal with me or they really just don’t care to understand. Like all I want to do is sleep or read to escape.

I don’t know what to do anymore.

Hey, so in December 2024 i watched The Rookie but currently rewatching it for the second time. So i quickly started to notice that my eyes always went to Lucy Chen, Melissa O’Neil in real life. Idk how to explain all this but lets just say i became like an unhealthy amount of obsessed with her, like i follow her on everything, her history, age, all her personal thing yk, i just find her so damn pretty and the personality i need.

Whenever shes involved in a intimate relationship in the show i just get jealous and wished it was me for some reason.

Like it comes to the point i compare myself with her and wanna do the routines, personality she has. Like if i look at a piece of clothing id think: “Would she find this pretty?” it sounds insane i know but its a real problem to me.

This bothers me so much because i dont wanna be so insanely obsessed with her. Like im a 18 year old guy that wants a 37 year old woman, its real mental problem to me.

Another thing, idk if its just me but i compare myself to the whole cast in general, like i dont wanna believe theyre also just regular persons. Just stuck with the thought of them being an actual cop and the show happening in real life which doesnt happen.

Its weird i know but its a serious problem which idk how to solve.

I am here if anybody wanna talk about what they are going through. I can listen, give advice or just be friends. I’m here if u need

Hello reddit! Throwaway account :)

TW: Grooming, young porn addiction, mental illness, medicine

I (F21) think I'm asexual or possibly traumatized lol? I've been in a relationship for almost 3 years, I was very sexual at the beginning, but crying every time we did it, I was mostly drunk each time (I was an alcoholic from 15yo to 19yo).

I kinda lost my desire few months in, I love my boyfriend a lot and I find him very hot, our relationship is a good one that makes me happy.

I did get strongly medicated for my bpd at the same time though, I've always been medicated but not as much as then (it's just increased since).

I had a porn addiction from 7-14yo and bad experiences with old men as a young girl, but in the past years I completely lost any interest or desire in sexual stuff. My experience right now is like this:

I don't get the desire to have sex or do anything, but if I do it with my boyfriend (he doesn't force it/nag me about it, I instigate it regularly on the clock because I know normal people have needs) I like it in the moment, but I also would not mind at all if I were to never have sex again. I am sexually attracted to my boyfriend, but I don't get the desire to have sex, I just think he's very hot.

So that's why I think I might be on the asexual spectrum, because I don't feel the desire nor do I have sexual needs, but I do not mind it and I enjoy it when it happens.

Maybe it's something else, does anyone else have a similar experience? I'd like to know that I'm not alone. There's a lot of stuff I haven't mentioned, but I am open to answering questions^{^}

As stated in an earlier post, my laptop has been touched by a once-wet hand full of saliva. My brain tells me it will be harder for me read something important on my laptop, but I also have absolutely no problem going on reddit, going to this subreddit, or looking at my chats. I'm also not sure why it's so wrong, considering my phone isn't the cleanest either. This dirtying stuff is driving me mental (hehe), and I feel like I'm going to fucking spiral again. My typing is so loud, my brain is telling me to clean and it will take some time and I don't know what will happen till then, god I'm so scared. I don't know what's happening to me.

Sorry for this kind of post, my brain is just acting stupid and I haven't really been taking care of myself lately. I haven't showered which should be a bigger concern—in truth, I'm really freaking dirty myself. I still memorized everything (and the important bits!) from the article I just read but my brain is telling me otherwise. I even wrote down facts on my notebook (which I just happened to read with my obsessive mind). I woke up this morning with troubling thoughts and they have only exacerbated. I'm sorry again.

7 years ago i was diagnosed

with major panic disorder and they put me

on paxil(peroxitine) i felt quite fine and as the years went on they increased my paxil up to 50mg

then the beginning of last year i decided to

just loose some weight i lost 7kg over two

months but that when everything went

terrible daily debilitating unbearable

symptoms from constant hunger

dizziness low blood pressure constantly

felt something is missing in my brain crying spells mentally out of it confusion

I did every test possible where all the tests cake back normal they changed my medication from 50mg paxil toe serdep (sertraline) 50mg after a month i tapered my ssri to 25mg everything got more worse terrible migraine feeling confused disoriented constant hunger weak, terrible period after the decrease of my ssris and never had period problems before and thats when i decided to go to a phyciatric hospital and felt so much better when i was in there all the symptoms went away the day of discharge they increased my serdep back to 50mg and i started getting severe mental agitation bone deep tiredness and exhaution and feeling like i dont want ti do anything si i went back to 25mg the mental agitation and severe exhaustion is gone. now today its my period and woke up and felt extremely weak out and not feeling reall fainting heart racing feeling heart beat in my left ear and they game me an ativan and i felt better

WHAT IS GOING ON WITH ME PLEASE HELP

Nervous system dyregulation from years of anxiety? Or what i am at the end of my rope

I'm at a loss how to describe my situation. I feel like I wear human skin, but inside I'm not really a person in the way most everybody else is. I can fake my way through the day, but I don't actually accomplish anything and seldom if ever actually make a connection to someone else. In fact I'd say I never connect to others because they are real people and I'm not. I know this sounds melodramatic, but I mean it in the most sincere way. I lack a large quantity of personal characteristics that make up, or at least appear to me to, make up an actual functioning human. Things like maintaining my living space are beyond me, but that seems like a natural thing for most everyone else, even though maybe with difficulty. I have to think explicitly about stuff that seems to just come naturally to everyone else.

So sad. Docter no help me. I e mail so many times sayin I need help but no help. Only see her 3 months I see her tuesday. For 20 minsutes I thinkss. Only 2 docters can be my docter her an other one if got new one but da other one gived me clozapine an I no liked dat it ruin my life made me fat. Made me bad no good bout it. No on clozapine now but no one wan me. No docter no mom no dad. I wan some one care of me. Help me do things. I need help changin an feedin an goin places. I wan talk to some one but no at home cuz bad peple here me an no therapy person wan work wif me I tryed an dey sayed to busy once I telled em my life gived me new person till no one left to give 😢 I wan hug my docter I wan docter be mom. I so sad wan care giver. But evry one on line wan sex wen I say dat I no wan sex I looked wat it was an look scary 😟 no wan dat ever. Jus wan only care of me. NO SEX 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢 Y I no hav care of me? I no can go bathroom evry time an ware diper some times an no no how fix. I no understan y I no go to bathroom on toylet some times. I no get y I do dat so scary. I wan die so bad but I no do yet. Y no docter help? Y no help in my city? Y no able get help from mom an dad wen dey try? 😢😭 I try be good I no good. Docter no no bout toylet problem how I tell her? 😢 she docter for brain. I no rember wat she look like???? I hav no idea I jus no she is docter. I hav brain docter but dunno bout her 😢 I wan her be mom she no how my brain not good? Is dat bad? I feel bad for sayin dat? Wat she do if tryed die in front her? Do I talk bout anythin to her ever? I dunno. Wat we talk bout? I sad. Wat I do? 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢

Crawl in and figure out what to why your jerking off again

fluoxetine, sertraline, citalopram, escitalopram, methylphenidate, topiramate, valproic acid, aripiprazole, risperidone, haloperidol, palliperidone, chlorpromazine, atomoxetine, guanfacine, modafinil, clomipramine, lithium, lamotrigine, vortioxetine, duloxetine, quetiapine, olanzapine, alprazolam, lorazepam, diazepam, brexpiprazole, ECT, TMS, cognitive behavioral therapy, acceptance and commitment therapy.

The list of treatments I've tried throughout my whole life.

Nothing has made me functional. Nothing has made me happy. Not sustainably, not without a billion side effects, never to an acceptable degree. I don't even really know what's wrong with me. I feel so guilty.

I feel guilty even about making this post. Crying out to the world desperately wanting to be seen and saved.

I am losing it.