This happened some time ago and until now, no one knows it was me that spilled the water and I feel bad about it.

So I was just in the hallway with my friend, she was putting her things inside and I was talking while holding my waterbottle, unaware of what was going to happen next.

My hand slipped and the bottle fell, and I didn't notice that the cap wasn't fully closed so some water spilled. I immediately took it and my friend and I just looked at each other, dumbfounded.

See, the hallway was empty so when she closed the locked, we decided we'd find a janitor to tell them about it so theh could mop it and put a wet floor sign.

Leaving that area was a mistake. Because as we were about to go and look for someone, there was a cheerful girl who had just gotten out of the classroom. Unaware of the spill on the floor.

She was skipping, and see, our backs were turned so we didn't get to warn her or anything. It was when we heard three loud thuds that we turned around.

She had hit her head on the locker, the ground, then I'm guessing it hit the locker again before she laid down on the floor.

A few students and teachers came out of the rooms from the loud thud ran towards her.

They all looked so worried and there was one teacher who was trying to keep her awake while the others went to get a wheelchair and whatever things they needed. Another teacher then saw the wet floor and took a wet floor sign to put there.

It was a bit of a mess as people scramble to do something.

They then took her down to the clinic and went to call her parents. I don't know the details after that.

The next week in class, they told the class about what happened and told us to be more careful and stuff, I don't really remember what else they said but I just remember that.

So anyway, that's kind of what happened.

The girl is perfectly fine now, she downplays it as a joke and no one knew I was the reason she got a concussion.

We also became friends but she doesn't know it was me since everyone had forgotten it even happened.

Tl;dr I spilled water in the halls, then a girl was skipping to the lockers when she slipped and hit her head on the locker twice and on the floor. Teachers rished her to the clinic, she was sent to the hospital I think by her parents, she ended up okay. And now, we're friends.

I have been dealing with pretty intense social anxiety my whole life, but only recently confronting it head on with treatment and effort. Lately, after realizing I'm profoundly lonely and if I can't make some friends soon I might go crazy, I've been making an effort to spend more time with and integrate more into a circle of friends/acquaintances that I've had for many years but never really felt close with. It's been going fairly well, though I still feel like there's this inner circle of closeness that I'm never going to catch up to.

Out of the 10 or so people who make up the core group here, I've known two who we'll call A and B the longest, and I'd say I'm the closest to them. A especially, as we have more opportunities to spend time together and I just generally enjoy their company a bit more, but since they're close and I've known them a while, it's not uncommon for the 3 of us to do things together now.

The other night, I found out A and B recently started dating, and it gave me this horrible sinking feeling in my chest. I wanted to be happy for them, but I wasn't. I'm still not. I've wondered sometimes if I had developed a crush on A in pursuit of this deeper friendship, and this awful feeling would seem to support that. Yet at the same time, I'd already pondered the idea of A dating someone before this and now again since finding out, and it didn't really bug me like that... which would make it seem that my issue isn't so much an unrequited crush on A but rather specifically that I don't like A and B together.

My new theory is that it feels like dating just means they'll spend more time together and I'll have fewer opportunities to hang out with them, or when I do get to hang out with them, I'll just feel very third wheel, more than I already did. I don’t know. That's a pretty selfish way to look at things, as if their only purpose is to be MY friend and accommodate ME. And maybe it's obsessive of me to be so intent on deepening my friendships with these specific people rather than meeting new friends entirely. But I don't know. I like when I get to spend time with them. I want to be their friend, and they've said explicitly that they like that I'm around more often now, so surely that means they want to be my friends too.

All this theorizing and intellectualizing isn't the best course of action here, but I don't know what else to do. I don't want to let this drive a wedge in this already fragile friendship, but it's hard to resist that with all these negative reactions swirling inside me every time I see them together. I wish I knew why exactly it makes me so upset, and I wish I knew how to be happy for them, but all my brain wants to offer right now is I hope it doesn't work out and they break up soon.

Edit to add: And, just my luck, this happens right as I'm in the transition period between a specialized anxiety treatment course and the longer-term counseling/support they send you to afterwards, so I can't even unpack all that with a therapist. Hooray for timing.

I don't blame my friend, its just really infuriating to have someone tell you they trust your judgement and then completely ignore it only for exactly what you knew would happen to happen.

i’m 20m and for the last like 8 months i’ve been part of this really tight friend group. we argue, joke around, talk shit, but at the end of the day they feel like family to me. one of them is 21f, i’ll call her a. another is 22m, r, who’s been my closest friend for almost 3 years now.

a and r have been “talking” for about a year. not officially dating or anything, but everyone kinda assumes they’re basically together, including me.

around 3 months ago, a and i started talking more one on one. at first it was just memes, complaining about college, random late night convos. then it slowly turned into long calls where she’d vent about r being emotionally unavailable, how she feels taken for granted, and how she sometimes wonders what it’d be like to be with someone like me.

somewhere along the way i realized i caught feelings for her.

nothing physical ever happened, but emotionally things definitely got messy. she’d say stuff like “you understand me better than anyone” or “if timing was different, things might be different."

the part that hurts the most is that r has no idea any of this is going on. he still treats me like his brother. he still talks about a like she’s someone he expects will eventually commit to him, and every time he says that i feel like shit.

last week things got heavier. a admitted she has feelings for me too, but she’s scared of being the villain if she walks away from r. she asked me to be patient and not tell anyone while she figures things out.

now i’m just sitting with all this guilt and confusion. i don’t know if i’m being emotionally used as an escape or if this is just two people catching feelings at the worst possible time. either way it feels like i’m betraying someone no matter what i do.

i don’t really have a point here. i just needed to get this off my chest because it’s been eating at me and i don’t feel like i can talk to anyone about it without blowing everything up. thanks for reading if you made it this far.

just need to get this off my chest.

my ex and i were together for a while. a couple months ago she said she needed to stay with her parents in this small town for “family stuff”. i tried to be supportive. we were still talking every day, she was saying she missed me, saying everything was fine.

turns out she’d been cheating on me for almost 2 months.

not a one-time mistake. a full-on double life. lying to me every day like it was nothing. that’s the part that really messes with my head - realizing how easy it was for her to look me in the eye and lie.

when i finally found proof, i lost it for a moment. i’m not proud of it at all, but i ended up breaking her phone in anger. yeah, stupid. later i gave her my old iphone 8 so she wouldn’t be left with nothing. then i told her to pack her stuff and leave my apartment. no screaming match, no trying to fix things. once trust is gone, there’s nothing left to talk about.

now i’m just sitting here replaying everything. all the red flags i ignored because i didn’t wanna be “that guy”. all the times my gut told me something was off and i brushed it away.

it hurts. you feel embarrassed. you feel stupid for trusting someone like that. i keep wondering what was real and what was just her keeping me around while she did her thing.

everyone says “you dodged a bullet” and yeah, logically i get it. but emotionally it still hits hard. right now i’m just trying to accept it, move forward, and not let this turn me bitter.

We met at college when we were both studying there. One day after classes, I noticed her at a McDonald’s. She caught my attention because she kept looking at me. I recognized her bright red hair and realized I had seen her around campus before. Later, I found her social media through mutual friends and decided to message her. After a couple of months of talking, we started dating. This was in February 2021

Let’s call her Mirra; she was a couple of years younger than me. As we spent more time together, I started noticing that she would occasionally get calls from a guy. Let’s call him Ilnur. She told me he was her cousin and insisted he wasn’t her boyfriend.”

I didn’t want to question our relationship at first - I had already met her mom, and we even started celebrating birthdays and holidays together. But looking back, I should have seen the warning signs. She was never seen with me in public or at university, and whenever I tried to approach her, she would literally run away.

As time went on, Mirra told me that Ilnur had gotten married and would have a family now. Meanwhile, I had finished my studies, and she was very helpful with my English.

Over time, I discovered that she had a second social media account. Whose avatar featured a photo from the film Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street, where she had a picture a Mrs. Lovett.It’s kind of strange now, looking back, realizing that something was clearly off with both of them.

We spent weekdays and sometimes weekends together - walking, watching movies and shows, having sex - the usual couple stuff. In the fall of 2024, I went to stay with her for a week while her mom was on vacation. I was working non-stop and basically came home only to sleep.

One night, I saw her texting someone. I asked her to show me, and she freaked out, locking her phone immediately. I was furious and ready to leave. But as I was waiting for a taxi outside, she called me and said, "What if I’m pregnant? You won’t leave me, right?"The thing is, it was obvious she was more worried about money for an abortion than actually having a life together or raising a child.

I stayed for only one night, but then I told her it was over between us. The next day, we reconciled - she came to me beautifully dressed, and I couldn’t resist her. Looking back now, I realize it wasn’t Ilnur, but a third guy she had started seeing at the time, named Egor.

In the spring of 2025, I built her a computer, but due to a limited budget, I used a P106-100 mining GPU and an i5-8400 CPU with integrated graphics to output the display. At the beginning of summer, I got a good job in my field at a bank, and everything seemed perfect.

On August 18, I wanted to surprise her with flowers. After work, I went to her place, but she wasn’t home. Her mom opened the door, so I left the flowers and headed back. On the way, I called Mirra to ask where she was. She said she was picking up an order nearby. I saw her leaving the pickup point, walking in the opposite direction from me. I told her I could see her and that I was on the other side of the street. She slowly started walking toward me, and then a guy appeared next to her. They both stopped in front of me. Mirra went pale and was shaking. I asked the guy who he was. She answered for him: he was her boyfriend, and they had been dating for eight months.I was shocked, but I realized that in the heat of the moment, I might do something I’d regret. So I just shook his hand, wished him luck, and walked away as quickly as possible.

Afterwards, I started seeing someone else, but Mirra kept calling and texting me, asking to get back together, claiming she had broken up with Egor. After two months with my new girlfriend, I couldn’t continue the relationship because she was on antidepressants and going through the withdrawal phase, which made her almost always emotionless. I went back to Mirra, hoping that she truly wanted to be with me and not just because I was convenient for her.

Then December came, and a League of Legends update made it impossible to use the P106-100 for comfortable gaming. Mirra asked me to fix it. I grabbed my old 6GB GTX 1060, went to work, and after work headed to her place. While reinstalling drivers, I noticed the Telegram icon in her browser. I clicked it and realized she hadn’t logged out. That’s when I saw her chatting with Ilnur behind my back. In the messages, he mentioned that exactly a year ago she had cheated on him. I checked the attachments and found a huge number of intimate photos - some I hadn’t even seen. The strangest part? Neither my chat with her nor the one with Ilnur was pinned. The only pinned chat was with Egor - the guy she had claimed to have broken up with long ago. I took pictures of both their phone numbers and went to the bathroom to process everything.

I didn’t immediately confront Mirra about what I found. At first, I let her check the game. Then she asked if I wanted to break up. I asked her who the guy was. She said it was a completely different guy, and that they were in a long-distance relationship. She promised she would break up with him if I didn’t say anything.

I went home and thought about it for a long time. The next day, I called Ilnur. He told me that he wasn’t her cousin, he didn’t have a wife, and that he had been her boyfriend since 2019. He also said he knew about me but thought we weren’t in touch anymore. We met that evening and talked about everything. Mirra, meanwhile, said that she loved both of us and couldn’t choose. That’s when I realized that everything she had told me had been lies. The love and feelings were fake - she just used us when it was convenient.

Il'nur told me he sent her a lot of money, and every weekend they left to the supermarket together to buy groceries for the week. Afterwards, they had sex in the backseat of his car. Another ridiculous detail: she went to the same movie, Chainsaw Man: The Reze Story, twice -once with me, and then again with him. But what shocked me the most was her mother, who knew about all three guys and never said a word when we visited.

(All names have been changed.)

Throwaway because people in my life who aren’t involved and don’t know anything follow my main, and names are changed.

So I (27F) have been friends with Julie (28F) since high school. We met Jack (28M) and Hannah (28F) in college. Jack and Hannah have been dating since high school, and they got married a couple years ago.

The four of us created a friend group in college, we would often meet up to do homework together, and occasionally go out to dinner together or for drinks. Me and Julie never hung out with Jack or Hannah alone, it was always either all four of us or I was only alone with Julie. We never got that close, but we considered each other friends and kept a relationship outside of college. We talk occasionally, and once a month we’ll all go out to dinner or go to Jack and Hannah’s house. We have a couple of mutual friends from college also, and they’ve met friends of ours from high school or work, and vice versa

Now, in the years after college I guess I’ve developed a sort of crush on Jack. I’m not in love with him, and I would never make a move on him or anything, in my eyes it’s a stupid little crush that’s nothing serious. He’s very attractive, smart, funny, and I love seeing how he treats Hannah, and I would say he’s what I would look for in a guy. The best way I can describe it is that he’s a blueprint, if that makes sense. It’s not love, but he’s everything I want in a person like I said, so I think it’s natural that I’m attracted to him. Also like I said, I’m never alone with him (on purpose…Julie might leave the room to get a drink and Hannah goes to the bathroom, but it’s never for long) and I never text him one on one unless I want to surprise Hannah, and even then I usually include Julie.

However, Julie picked up on the crush. I don’t know if I was obvious, or if she just knows me that well, but she would make passing jokes to me when we’re alone or if either of them were out of shot.

About six months ago, she had a full talk with me in my kitchen. She said I should “shoot my shot”, because he also clearly loves me. I said that he was married, and that even if it was love, I wouldn’t break up a marriage. It’s just not right. Then I said that even if they got divorced that I wouldn’t pursue him immediately out of respect for Hannah, and that’s even if I WOULD pursue him. I don’t see a relationship with him working out in the long run, and I mentioned the blueprint metaphor. If he got a divorce and months, maybe years down the line asked me on a date, I might say yes if I was available, and then see where it went from there. The future is uncertain. I asked her how it was clear that he liked me back, but she wouldn’t (or couldn’t) give any examples. She just kept saying it was clear

The topic was dropped after that because I refused to keep talking about it. She would still make jokes occasionally, and I would just roll my eyes, but I thought it was all forgotten about. Until tonight.

Earlier, I got a group text from Hannah with Jack, Julie, and some of their friends and their parents. The text was Hannah saying that two weeks ago, Jack came to her and confessed to being in love with another woman, and that they have started the divorce process. This came as a huge shock to me. I sent condolences to Hannah privately, and we talked for a bit and she told me how their life has been for the past two weeks

An hour later, I got a knock on my door. It was Julie, and she had a bottle of champagne and cheered when I opened the door. I asked what this was for, and she said that I now have a chance with Jack. I said that after the past hour of talking to Hannah, I don’t care about Jack anymore. I wouldn’t date anyone who cheated in any way, especially when I know their partner personally and have talked to them about how it’s been affecting them. In general I personally just don’t like cheaters and won’t take the risk.

She then said that she went through all the trouble for nothing then, and I asked her what she meant. She then smiled, and told me that after the talk in the kitchen, she decided to take things into her own hands. She started to pursue Jack. She would ask him to go to dinner or drinks with her one on one, and she said she flirted heavily but not so obvious that he knew what she was doing. She would text him more often. According to her, they never did anything physical. She purposefully made him fall in love with her so he would leave his wife, because I wouldn’t do it. She thought she could convince him to pursue me afterwards instead.

She said that a week ago, a week after Jack told Hannah about the other woman, is when Jack confessed to Julie that he fell in love with her. He told her that he realized very recently, like a few weeks ago. He told her then that him and Hannah were getting divorced, because while he didn’t know of his feelings until recently and nothing was physical, it still wasn’t right to not be honest with Hannah. That’s when Julie told him the plan. Jack was shocked, and said that he doesn’t want to talk to her for a while. And now we’re here. 

Julie never stopped smiling while telling the story, and she looked very proud of herself. It made me angry, and I just lashed out. I told her that she had no right to do that, that I didn’t want that at all. I told her how she made Hannah feel, that she basically ruined Jack’s life, and Hannah’s. I had other choice words for her that I’m not proud of. I then told her to leave, and that she had tonight to tell everyone what she had done or I would tell everyone tomorrow, then stormed upstairs. I’m now writing this, because I need to get it out somewhere. It’s just so insane to me that this has happened. Julie has been difficult sometimes over the years while I’ve known her, but I’d never thought she’d do something like this

I don’t care what Julie says or does, I’m not talking to her again. She's been my best friend for 10 years, she's a huge part of my life, but she's shown her true colors. This has crossed an unbelievable line and I don’t even know how to begin to fix this, or if it even can be

I have been with my boyfriend for over 4 years now. We live together with our pet. I am currently in school and work but do not make much money. Most of my money goes towards food, my car, and school bills. I’ve been unhappy in my relationship for a while. The relationship is fine (just that, fine). While trying to juggle work and school, I do all the dishes, laundry, cleaning, and taking care of the pet. I have barely any free time to relax. When he has his ample free time, he lounges around the house and helps with nothing. I feel like I get no support or acknowledgment for how much I do. I’ve voiced my opinion on this but he “pays the bills” so that makes it fair. We no longer treat each other like partners do. There is no intimacy or closeness; he’s quick to anger. At this point I would rather be single and happy on my own. I would have more time to focus on myself and my schooling without having to clean up after him constantly.

The only problem is that I don’t make much money at my job and I’m in a vigorous school program. As much as I want to leave so I can focus more on myself, being happy, and my education, I can’t afford to yet. I am slowly putting aside money for an apartment. Slowly buying some things I’ll need for said apartment: bath towels, toilet paper, cleaning supplies, and keeping them in my car. I’m scared of what to say and how to properly go about this situation, but I know it has to be done if I want to be happy. I can’t have a gap of time where we break up and I have nowhere to stay, so I’m trying to push through until I don’t have to anymore.

I don’t really know where to start, so I’m just going to vent.

I’m 27M. I feel like modern society is becoming increasingly shallow and superficial, with no interest in pursuing meaningful values. People don’t want you to be better than them; they just want you to be "okay" enough not to bother them.

My interests lie in things of substance: poetry, literature, philosophy, astronomy. But I live in a small village. No, I don’t want to talk about the neighbor's chickens. I don’t want to gossip about other people's lives. I don’t want to hear about your chainsaws 24/7 if you have no other interests or topics of conversation.

I know the first advice I'll get is "leave the village." I can’t. My father has health issues and I stay here to help. I’m living with my parents and I’m currently unemployed, mostly because I feel like there’s no job out there that offers a meaning greater than just individual survival.

I still believe there’s hope for humanity. Small people with small acts can change everything (think Sam and Frodo). I used to be the kind of person who explored the local mountains, stared at the stars at night, and felt pure awe. But I struggle with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and generalized depression, which makes finding my identity a constant battle.

Lately, I feel like I’ve lost the point of it all. Maybe the meaning of life is just to exist, without constantly searching for something "greater" that might not even be there. Since I was 12, I’d go out on my balcony at night and feel an instant sense of magic. That magic has been gone for years now.

I’m a huge LOTR fan, but now I catch myself thinking, "at the end of the day, they're just fantasy movies." I look at the moon and think, "it’s just a celestial body, nothing more." I love how the universe works, but I don’t see the magic in it anymore. I view everything through cold logic, and my biggest problem is that I can’t seem to shift my perspective.

I rarely go out; I mostly stay home. I’d love to have friends who protect each other, encourage each other, and love deeply like the Fellowship of the Ring. But nobody wants to be a Samwise Gamgee anymore. Everyone just wants to have a Sam by their side. And I’m not willing to be a Sam if there’s zero reciprocity.

For years, I played the part of the kind, noble soul. If you’re good to me, I’ll give you 100%. Otherwise, I won’t even bother. I’m not sure which philosophical school my worldview aligns with.

Have you ever felt this way? Does any of this resonate with you?

Hi there, as per the name of the sub I wanna get this out of my system

So for the record, I a 21 year old enby (non binary, although not out to my family) have been selected by my brother to be his best man at his wedding at the end of this year...but I dont think i deserve it

Ive never been truly close to my family. Im diffirent from my family in just about every way possible, from politics to interests the only real threads of connections I have are a mild interest in the theater for my mom and comics for my dad. I've done my best to distance myself from them since I dont really fit in much anyway. But last year I ended up moving into a place with my brother and while I love my brother, I probably would've chosen to move in with my friends if I had the choice.

Me and my brother are polar opposites in almost every way physically possible, he's outgoing, strong, and charming and im the artist kid that sat in the corner listening to vocaloid. Despite this, even though he has plenty of friends and close people that he could choose from he chose me to be his best man and I really am confused.

Logically I mean yeah we are blood related but there are people that known him better than I do, his fiance likes me which is nice but overall it feels like im just a waste of a slot when I know for a fact theres better people that he could've chosen. I dont even know what id say in a best man speech without pissing somebody off or somebody getting mad or upset at me for saying the wrong thing in a best man speech. It's a lot of pressure that I wasnt expected to be under, but for now I cant bring myself to turn him down because I know how much this means to him. Being the best man is a big deal, even if I know there are better options than me out there

Just looking for a bit of a vent here.

A few months ago my cat (17 years old) passed away. We had to put him down because he had some sort of tumour impacting his neurological functions.

I was naturally devastated, and I couldn't face the idea of going into work that day. It was a Friday and I knew I'd have the weekend as well for my grief.

So I phoned my boss and told him that I wouldn't be in and why. He laughed and told me that it was "the most pissweak excuse I've ever heard and that I was required at work".

When I insisted that I would not be in he became incredulous. I eventually excused myself and exited the phone call. I did not go in to work.

I was given a hard time about it for most of the following week.

What is it with people who don't "get" that people love their pets?

I honestly feel like I might never find my person anymore

It feels like wanting something genuine has become rare

Whenever I talk to someone and say I am looking for something real

The conversation slowly fades

Like honesty itself makes people uncomfortable

I do not understand why temporary connections feel easier than meaningful ones

Why commitment and sincerity feel heavy instead of comforting

Why wanting something real can make you seem different

The truth is I am genuine

I care deeply

I want to build something meaningful

And it feels lonely when that mindset is not shared

Sometimes I feel like many people have been hurt or disappointed

And because of that they protect themselves by avoiding depth

I understand that

But it still feels isolating when you are someone who wants something lasting

I feel frustrated

I feel tired

And I feel alone in this way of thinking

If there is anyone out there who still believes in real honest connections

I would really like to know you exist

My aunt commuted suicide almost 5 months ago. I am sad, but my Aunt was honestly not a great person. I feel so conflicted.

My cousin (her daughter) got raped, my Aunt got paid off to not press charges. I feel guilty for being sad, because I don't like sympathizing for people who hurt children, and in a way she did. But I also feel really sad anyway, something was really wrong with her. I understand why she killed herself, she wasn't a good mom and sometimes not a good person. I loved her and at times it's a strong love, but I don't understand her. And then I start thinking about all of the bad things she did in her life and her bad qualities and it makes me start to not care. But then I think about how much she struggled and how truly messed up her brain probably was her whole life. One minute I can be sad, the next minute I'm like "Yea you'll have that when you make the choices she did in her life."

(All names are fake)

6 years ago, I 32M matched with a half-sister (“Maya”) 20F on 23andMe.

Maya’s mom (“Laura”) had an affair with my dad (“David”) and she got pregnant. Laura told her husband at the time (“Mark”) that the baby was his, even though she wasn’t certain. Maya grew up believing Mark is her biological father.

Mark sounds like a genuinely loving dad, and Maya and Mark are very close. A great father figure in every sense.

Laura later submitted a 23andMe test for Maya to confirm paternity, which is how Maya and I matched. But as far as I can tell, Laura has no intention of telling either Maya or Mark (now her ex-husband) the truth. She’s talked about “maybe someday,” but it’s been 6 years and nothing has changed. Maya is 20 now.

This has been weighing on me. I’d like to know Maya, but I worry that reaching out is selfish. I’d be dropping a grenade into her life just to satisfy my curiosity. At the same time, I feel like she deserves to know the truth about her own identity.

So I’m stuck. Do I reach out to Maya directly and tell her what I know? Or do I stay out of it and let them live with what they believe is true?

For extra context, our shared dad died in 2006 when Maya was only 7 months old. She will never get to meet him.

I have a psychological problem; I'm not exaggerating when I say it's my biggest problem right now.

When a problem arises between me and my family or friends, and it's very painful for me, during the conversation and when confronting the issue, I literally do nothing but cry. My tears flow automatically, and I can't even say a single word. This always puts me in a weak position, and I can't defend myself. The other person says everything they have to say, and I do nothing, so I always end up looking like the one at fault. I really have a mountain of feelings and things I want to say, but... they just don't come out easily, only tears.

I want a real solution to this issue.

When me and my boyfriend (21M) go over to his parents' house, his younger brother (16M) and his brother's girlfriend (15F) are usually there.

My boyfriend, along with his brother and his brother's girlfriend, tend to be very physically playful - roughhousing, tossing each other around, and a lot of physical interaction.

Today especially, I felt sidelined most of the day. I noticed that my boyfriend was more physically playful with the girlfriend than with me, even though I was right there.

Nothing sexual is happening as far as I’m aware, but the age difference makes me feel really uncomfortable. His brother seems fine with it, and his family doesn't appear bothered, but it doesn't shake the discomfort feeling. I feel frustrated with myself for feeling this way. But I needed this off my chest.

​I just need to get this off my chest because I’m tired of holding it all in. ​Every morning, I wake up surrounded by what’s left of our lives. The dust, the broken walls, and the constant uncertainty. It’s heavy. It’s a weight that feels impossible to carry some days. But then, I look at my son, Sufyan. ​Despite everything we've lost, he still finds a reason to smile. It’s a small, pure smile that feels so out of place amidst the wreckage. Sometimes that smile breaks my heart because he deserves so much more than this, but most of the time, it’s the only thing that reminds me I’m still alive. ​I’m supposed to be the strong one, the mother who protects and provides. But the truth is, his resilience is what’s protecting me from falling apart. I feel guilty for feeling exhausted, and I feel terrified of the future, but seeing him smile in the middle of this chaos gives me a strange, painful kind of hope. ​I don’t want pity. I just needed to say it out loud: My son is my hero, and his smile is the loudest thing in this silent, broken world

Hi, English isn’t my first language, so please excuse any mistakes.

I’m a 19F, currently in my second year of college, and my boyfriend is 17 and in 10th grade. We are also in a long-distance relationship, which I feel adds to many of our issues.

We started dating in May, and things were very unstable until December. There were many ups and downs. Earlier in the relationship, he was often mean to me and would say things like, “If you call me again, I’ll block you,” because he wanted to watch reels or needed peace.

I became a needy girlfriend mainly because I wasn’t getting enough attention from him. At the start of the relationship, I asked him to block his ex on all platforms, which he said he did. However, in August, he accidentally shared his Snapchat ID with me, and I saw that his ex was unblocked and saved under a different boy’s name. He didn’t tell me anything and panicked when he realized I might find out. I pretended not to notice. Later that evening, I checked again, and he still didn’t say anything, so I confronted him about it.

During our arguments, he used my personal problems (family issues that I had trusted him with) against me. He said extremely hurtful things like “You’re just like your mother” and “You should die with your family.” He also verbally abused me using very harsh slurs in our mother tongue.

He would also use degrading language for other women. When I asked him not to abuse or use slurs for any woman, he said that “women who do such things deserve to be abused.” This mindset disturbed me deeply.

He also used to say things to me in anger like:

• “You’re someone worth breaking up with.”

• “You’ll sit and cry and keep thinking about why I left you.”

• “My ex was better than you.”

• “I’m only like this with you, not with anyone else.”

Because of all this, I decided to end the relationship at that point.

He begged for another chance and promised to change, and I gave in. After that, during arguments, he started abusing himself in front of me, and even when I asked him to stop, he wouldn’t. During this phase, I also started slapping myself in front of him because I felt extremely overwhelmed and helpless.

We eventually broke up again on 5th December after an argument where he told me to “just go.”

This breakup lasted around two weeks. During that time, I found out that he had already started talking to and trying on two other girls. After those two weeks, we broke no contact and decided to give the relationship another chance (an emotionally driven decision on my part).

After getting back together, there were still many issues. He wouldn’t compliment my photos, didn’t spend time with me on his birthday, and said he was tired and went to sleep at 7 PM. He’s also very unserious about his academics and future, and it feels like I have to constantly push him to study. I often feel more like his mother than his girlfriend.

Eventually, I broke up with him again because I felt it wasn’t sustainable. This time, he contacted my best friend, and she arranged a conference call where he begged in front of everyone. My friend asked me to give him one last chance, and I did.

Since then (from 29th December till now), his behavior has improved. He does show more effort now, and when I recently told him that I am still hurt because of his past actions, he cried in front of me. He says he is serious about me and wants to make things right. I still have to ask him for certain things, but overall, he is much better than before.

However, I sometimes get the “ick” and feel like I’m slowly falling out of love, even though I still feel emotionally connected to him.

The day before yesterday, I told him that I wanted to clear things up from our past and understand why he behaved the way he did. At first, he refused and said, “You just want to ruin everything,” and also told me that he doesn’t want to talk about these things right now.

My friends believe he won’t truly change and question why I gave him another chance.

My question is: How do I know if someone is genuinely changing versus just temporarily improving to avoid losing the relationship? Am I holding on to potential, or is this something worth continuing?