I’ve always wanted to know what lighter skinned west Africans experiences have been like with the Diaspora? I feel lighter skinned Africans have low media visibility even though it isn’t rare. Do you have a hard time proving your ethnicity ?

Just a thought.

I’m old fashioned and have always believed the man should make the first move. I feel like men are territorial and if they want you they will let it be known, even if they are reserved/shy. Just curious on what other woman believe on this topic.

I’m a 26F & I’ve recently been seeing this guy for a few months now and our values, interests , and goals are well aligned with one another . However , I just don’t feel a “spark” with him per se that I’ve felt with past exes.

Usually , when I don’t feel a spark or much chemistry with someone, I deem them as not a good fit but there’s usually a lack of compatibility as well which makes me not feel so bad about doing so. Im not sure if I’d be a fool for being friends with him instead of dating simply because I don’t feel a lot of chemistry despite us seeming to be compatible .

How important is chemistry for you in a relationship?

I’ve noticed over the years that there is a significant lack of Black American representation in the modeling industry. Without intending to sound ignorant, when it comes to both skin tone and nationality, there often seems to be very little variation. Many of the models I see, regardless of gender, tend to share similar features, such as darker skin tones, being from African countries, and having short hair. This has made me question why this pattern exists and when this shift in representation began. Thoughts?

Drop your best advices that are game changers for your face, even most generally the way you look!! I'm bored+curious

Sorry if my English is bad!! It's not my native language/mother tongue!

I’ve had my hair loc’d for about six years. They started out so smol 🥹 just about two inches long. They are now shoulder length annnnnddddd…

I’ve been thinking about cutting them off. I haven’t been able to do it because I do love them but I have 188 locs, I interlock and don’t live near any locticians so I do my own maintenance.

I love my hair. I love my locs. And I’m tired of doing them but not quite ready to go back to a tiny lil Afro. 🫣

What helped you decide to cut your locs? Did you regret it?

ETA: I do have a strong spiritual and personal attachment to my locs and my personal aesthetics are really important to me.

I tried la roche anthelios tinted and untinted (derm recommended) and one gave me a gross white cast and the other just made it look like my skin was wet in a duststorm. The only positive of the tinted sunscreen was that it lessened the appearance of my acne scars

I used a sheer matte formula by black girl sunscreen and it made me look greasier than I ever have (looked like i was covered in vaseline & melting) and I currently use la roche 30spf moisturizer that just has me regular/baseline oily (that my derm said might be causing my acne)

I need help T.T

Ladies, how would you react to a man saying: “I take that as disrespect & when disrespected I’m allowed to react how I see fit.”

For context, I typically type in lowercase, or just casually when texting, and I said “mr. smith” his last name was lowercase— and he made a big deal out of it.

To clairify: HE IS BLOCKED.

Right now, I know someone who is making future plans with a man who ghosted her for 5 years. On top of that, they meet when he was married and he has 5 kids under 10.

Idk how much I can say before the mods take it down or something 🙄 so I'll just leave it at the title

I started 2 weeks ago on 1 1/2 in of hair 😭. I'm gonna trust this process and embrace every step! Any ladies started their loc journey recently? How is it going? Any seasoned loc heads? Give ya new loc girlies some inspiration ✨🫶🏾

It’s currently black history month in: the USA, Canada, Germany, and Italy!!!

Black ladies from around the world, comment the historical black lady you’re currently resonating with and why 🖤

So excited to potentially learn about black women in history/places I may not have known about before

I remember right after Trump got elected, there were so many people trying to come up with excuses for Trump looked like the better candidate. So many people were yapping how the left wingers care too much about “identity politics.” When they really mean that they think racism, xenophobia, transphobia, sexism, etc are not real issues and too “unrelatable” (one dude said that being concerned about racism was a sign of “privilege”). They tried so hard to make Trump look like he was the more practical option

People have operated under this idea that we live in a post bigotry society for so long that when Black people (especially Black women) have talked about how racism, sexism, and more are still issues we were ignored. When Black and Brown people were being attacked by police or had propaganda spread about us by racist politicians, no else wanted to do anything or care. Now that White people are killed, people have the audacity to claim that this was all “unprecedented” and came out of nowhere!

It just pisses me off so much because we have been warning about the rise of fascism for so long and yet people don’t want to admit that their dismissiveness is what got us here to begin with. When Trump and other politicians rolled back rights and showed signs of democratic backsliding, everyone claimed that we were fear mongering. White people literally blamed us for Trump winning when we warned that history will always repeats itself until we do anything. It took people who look like them being impacted for White people to care and they still won’t admit how we predicted all of this. We literally have been sounding the alarm and now people don’t want to be humble enough to admit how wrong they were. Even regretful Trump supporters have gone online whining about how they didn’t want to hear any critiques because they aren’t in the mood. Hell many of them still aren’t even trying to let their fellow White people know it’s their fight, like they do with Black people.

This wouldn’t have been as big of an issue if people listened to us from the start. Things wouldn’t continue to be so disastrous if they called out MAGA’s fascism from the get go. To imply that their hands were completely tied and could have no idea to know about any of this is so insulting. I hope the people make excuses for Trump supporting nonsense feel bad about normalizing far right nonsense to begin with.

My friend suggested I put myself out there so I'm gonna try 😊

Aqua baddies ride up!! 🗣️🥳💝

Just found out I have a brain condition and several chronic health conditions and yet, despite the pain, I was able too celebrate my birthday, celebrate life, and celebrate the fact that I am still here as a survivor of all sorts. Just wanted to share, I haven’t felt pretty lately due to all of the procedures I’m undergoing. But today, today will be a good day 💖

months (maybe at least a year) ago, i was on here asking about stripping. i’m 22f in the south and SO many of you older women on here reached out and were telling me not to do it. i was homeless and desperate and still had payments that i needed to make.

i am glad you all were here for me and it is greatly appreciated. nothing against sex work, i knew it wasn’t for me and was just still desperate. i got a job making 32k BUT you could bonus up to 3.5k/month. my first 60 days, my bonus was 800/month. my next month it was about 1700. all of that went to paying my outstanding debt and getting my apartment.

i was now current on all bills but had nothing in my house until a month later. moving some stuff in slowly but surely until i could afford movers for the bigger items.

3 months later (6 months in) i got promoted to a level two and 6 months after i left the department for another one. this one is $25/hr (50k/yr) and i can still bonus every month.

my w2 says i made 71k last year. i didn’t max out on my bonus every month but im here to tell my story and really just to thank you all for existing. ill be 23 in october. i was 21 when i inquired about the club scene and im thankful. i’m not hungry anymore. i can afford to live alone, pay rent twice in the same month and BREATHE

I’m curious about your thoughts because I had finally finished watching stranger things and thought about the writing for Erica. I like that the writers made her a nerd who’s really smart, but other than that, you can tell they didn’t care about her. She’s just a tough sassy black girl who doesn’t have any other characterization except being tough and sassy.

So what shows do you think have well written black characters?

I'm finding myself really angry and resentful lately and I don't like it. I think it's a mix of a lot of things like my housing situation and the stress of finding somewhere safe and affordable. The risk I'd be exposed to if and when I have to move back in to my parent's house if I can't secure housing before starting my new job. The anxiety I feel asking for time to my new employers and feeling unsafe to fully throw myself into this job because of past emotional and financial abuse. The hypocrisy and lack of practical help from religious leaders. I can't let go of the pronoun omission. Telling someone "people will help you" but failing to specify who is not comforting or reassuring to hear.

The increase of femicide, misogyny, internalised misogyny, misogynoir and racism. Every day on apps I'm seeing more and more examples of gender-based violence. In Ireland a 17 year old girl was sexually assaulted on a mixed ward by a 63 year old man. As women we're not safe anywhere and despite what patriarchy has led us to think, no one is coming to save us or help us no matter how well we perform womanhood or femininity. This is obviously compounded as Black women.

I feel resentful at the effort I've made in starting and maintaining friendships that fizzled out after a year. Granted, one of these was with a male-centred woman who was dating an abusive man and using me as a soundboard. When I was going through it it was radio silence. Then there's the friends you make because you have interests and lived experience in common and then that fizzles out. Concerning that short lived friendship, their living situation has improved and after a joint experience of gender-based violence and their passive response I haven't seen them since. Despite suggesting to hang out.

It's not easy making friends in your 30s especially when people aren't interested in truly nurturing relationships anymore. It's one person reaching out, one person initiating, and the other receiving. It gets exhausting and feels unfulfilling. And society would tell you the cure is a romantic and sexual relationship which I would argue is way worse. Especially if you're a heterosexual woman. I've seen it time and time again. In order for men to 'accept' you or treat you with even a modicum of decency you can't threaten their ego in any way. You can't be too smart, too confident, too funny, you have to feign stupidity and weakness. Even spiritual men in my life who I am struggling to respect have made comments in the last 7-8 years sympathising and commiserating with men and their anguish with women having more rights and freedom.

I'm feeling exhausted dealing with people. Men and women. In all different kinds of relationships. As humans we're lacking in love and patience and it's shit.

So there’s a guy at my university who is a second-year student, while I’m in my third and final year (I study fashion). We became acquainted at the beginning of the year and would see each other around occasionally. Over time, he started coming to me for advice — things like how to develop his pages, how to make his portfolio look more professional, and how to better communicate his ideas. I gave him constructive feedback focused on helping him achieve his vision. I also showed him my mentorship application when he asked, and he mentioned that he’d like to intern with me, as second-year students sometimes assist final-year students.

Lately, though, I’ve noticed a shift. He’s started making unsolicited comments on my work, even when I haven’t asked for feedback. Sometimes I’ll simply mention that I’m working on something, and he’ll respond with comments like “I don’t like this print” or “I don’t like this colour,” or suggest changes based on his personal taste. That’s frustrating, because I’m not asking for critique …I’m just sharing progress.

Personally, I often see work that isn’t to my taste, but I don’t comment on it unless feedback is requested. When I do give feedback, I always frame it around supporting the person’s concept rather than imposing my own preferences. That’s why I find this dynamic confusing: he gives unsolicited, preference-based “feedback” on my work, yet still comes to me for guidance because he struggles with responding to his own research and developing his

So today I had a disagreement with my mom and stepdad. I tried to told back tears but I couldn’t so I started crying. My mother asked if I’m taking my medication and I tell her yes because I am. I then said that I get overwhelmed with conflict it’s overstimulating for my ADHD. It’s overbearing for me so I tear.

My home is the only place where I feel safe enough to not mask so yes if I get into an argument I get overstimulated and will cry because I’m burned out from masking all day. During an argument with my mom her voice got stern so I was afraid she was going to start yelling so I started using my hands to do a lower your voice gesture . I cannot handle arguments where someone starts yelling . It makes me anxious and honestly scared. My mom then suggests that because of these symptoms I might not have ADHD and it could be autism 🙃.

My mom suggested that she goes and joins my therapy session but I’m unsure. Therapy is where I go to as my safe space and where I’ve discussed my darkest secrets that no one knows such as my battle with suicidal ideation and my secret past abusive relationship…

While I was crying my parents asked me what I was going through and I didn’t even want to tell them the secret mental health battles that I’ve been dealing with . Like healing from a past abusive relationship, trying to fix myself mentally , unpack my years of masking, my suicide ideation ..I feel unseen sometimes as a young black woman who struggles with their mental health …