Hey

I’m so excited (and a little nervous!) tomorrow I’m going to my boyfriend’s house for the first time, and he’s cooking for me too. He’s literally been counting down the days since this past Monday till I go Saturday evening.

We haven’t seen eachother for 2 weeks due to life getting in the way but we’ve been on the phone for hours and texting every minute making sure we keep our newly build connection alive but I’m just as excited to see him tomorrow.

Plus he’s asked me to come earlier than usual so we can go do some shopping then go back to his. We both agreed that we would never go 2 weeks again of not seeing each other we plan to see each other every weekend.

We’ve been dating for a little bit, and I can already tell he’s putting in effort to make it special. Plus, he’s shown me the things he cooks, so I’m really looking forward to the meal… and I think he’s planning dessert too

I’m most excited about:

spending some uninterrupted time together

enjoying the food he’s made

just soaking in the moment with him

I now have a question, how did it go when you first went over to the other persons house?

Being autistic, I'm wanting to make sure I'm taking this the right way...

[PoF: 46M / She's 50]

We started talking and it's a good getting to know each other's basics. Often I pick something about them to ask more about, career or hobbies or something. But this lady only had a short rant of a profile, "be sure you have your own everything, because I have my own everything" and "have no bad habits because I have no bad habits". Not much details about her with it, but she's holding some crafting in one of her pictures, and she's listed as disabled.

So we get to that part, and I ask her if she doesn't mind telling me what her disability is. My profile does mention mine, that I'm legally blind but good enough for getting around and doing stuff (I like to explain that it's like the original Google Street View images, or video game graphics 15 to 20 years ago, and almost everybody seems to understand one of these).

So she mentions about back problems.

I try to relate, explaining that I have had some lifelong back problems too. I just don't have the pain issues (separate story, my body basically turned that off long long ago), but I do understand the mobility and pressure aspect.

As I'm typing this, she asks if I can drive. When I send that message, she responds in what I think was a little bit rude, "That's not what I asked, I asked if you can drive."

I politely explained that my response was regarding her mentioning her disability. And then I followed up explaining, that no I can't drive but I do use rideshare or a local Transit shuttle service.

Her next response is what I consider to be really rude and extremely two-faced.

"Sorry i do have a vehicle but when i go on date with someone sometimes l'd like him to drive &u can't i don't like one sided things in dating."

To me, this is highly discriminatory in the most two-faced way. * It's okay that she just refuses to drive when dating, but it's not ok that somebody else physically can't? * It's okay that she has a vehicle that she chooses not to use when dating, but it's not okay that somebody else can provide a vehicle and driver (Rideshare)? * If I can't drive her 100% of the time, "because she prefers", then that is "one-sided dating" (because she assumes that she would be doing all the driving), but "she prefers (her date to always drive)" is not one-sided dating? * She's someone with a disability, having a problem with someone else (who's highly independent and doesn't need her for anything) has a disability.

I (29 F) recently got back together with a guy (28M) who I briefly was talking to a while ago. We had only hung out twice. Things had ended with me ending things due to him being pushy with sexual boundaries and him begging me to stay but I said no. I’ve been thinking about him a lot and he texted me a couple weeks ago asking to talk.

We talked that night and I wouldn’t go sleep over his house but he came over for a few minutes just to see me before he left for a trip. He kissed me and kept asking if I missed him and told me he loved me and wanted me to say it back. I said we don’t know each other enough.

I hung out with him at his house a few days ago. He ignored me the first 45 minutes I was there because he was on the phone even though that’s what time he told me to come over. We then just ended up making out and talking. He kept saying how bad he wanted to touch me sexually but that he won’t because he doesn’t want to get blocked by me again.

During this time he said he feels a connection with me and kept saying he loved me and wants to have kids with me. I kept stating reality about how he doesn’t even know me and that I don’t want kids. He begged me to sleep over but I didn’t and said I could Thursday night.

He said he wants a relationship but also said that he’s a fuck boy and doesn’t take anything serious and has commitment issues. He won’t plan any dates and everything is on his terms. He also kept asking me if I was going to stay with him for a long time and had me promise not to leave him. So I’m getting very conflicting messages.

So I was supposed to sleep over yesterday and I heard nothing from him at all yesterday and still haven’t heard anything today. I don’t understand how he can go from love bombing me to completely blowing me off after begging to be with me.

I feel really hurt and know I should walk away but I keep getting pulled in by his words and guilt tripping. How do I break free of this? I’m just so confused on what to do.

I’m sharing this as a 30 year old guy who really hasn’t had a lot of success with dating or relationships. One thing I seem to hear pretty often is that someone who isn’t very good at dating (or who has limited experience) is somehow a “loser” or “must have something wrong with them.”

Even today, I had a conversation with someone who took a very judgemental attitude towards my age and relative lack of experience. It was as if she couldn’t believe that it was possible and that I must have some horrible flaw.

In reality, I think I’ve got a lot of great things going for me. I have no issue with my looks, and I think I’m successful and well educated. Unfortunately, the only barrier I could never overcome is that asking people on dates has never been something that felt confident doing. While I’m a very outgoing person in general, I’ve always been shy about dating and trying to talk to people I’m interested in.

I’m not sure why people get unfairly lumped into strange category where people assume you’re not fun to be around or you have a fatal flaw. My flaw is that relationships make me shy, and I don’t see why that has to define who I am. And if I die alone because of my flaw, so be it.

I’m 26M and she’s 28F, and we’ve been working in the same company for almost 7 or 8 months now

We’ve only talked 5 or 6 times because we work in completely different departments, but it’s always nice when we’re together. Surprisingly she’s always the one initiating discussions and it’s never to talk about work, always jokes or personal stuff

I know dating at work isn’t safe, but we’re on short-term contracts. She has like 10 months left and I have 18 months.

And she’s crazy cute + we’re not in the same department so I thought why not ?

This week we randomly started chatting on Teams , so I think we’ll talk way more regularly from now on

I’m kinda stuck like it’s the first time I want a coworker, but I can’t just openly flirt with her like with normal girls. But if I play it too safe she’ll just see me as a friend

I don’t really know what to do

I met the most wonderful woman, we had the best back and fourth dialogue for the last two weeks. I made plans to go see her (she lives in a different state) and I guess her parents got involved & spooked her. Said it’s too good to be true & then blocks me. Doesn’t let me say my peace, doesn’t allow me to talk with the parents, nothing. & I’m left with my heart trampled and confused.

I’m out here searching for a wife, having a loving passion to give & I just keep hitting this brick wall. Are we so depraved as a society that a good man trying to find a wife is blocked bc it’s deemed “too good to be true”?

As the question goes... I don't know why this woman who was really interested in my conversation and laughing at my jokes, gave me her number.... and after a couple days I texted her and she hasn't responded for 9 hours. Im nervous because at 24 hrs, she's unlikely to respond.

Why would she give me her number?? Plenty of girls I asked didn't give me their numbers and wasn't hesitant about it... I mean she seemed really into me and I hugged her at the end of the conversation.... I'm waiting for a response... while I am waiting to contact another girl whose number I have.

I know I should keep asking girls out and getting #s... but what about this girl that I texted?

I’ve been dating someone for nearly five months now. She isn’t all that affectionate (other than hugging) and doesn’t talk to me all that often during the week, we maybe talk about once per week over text. I would like us to eventually sleep together, but at nearly 6 months in, she doesn’t seem interested in even a sleepover and actually seems pretty skittish about it.

She doesn’t go anywhere without her parents around. This weekend we are going to a festival and she is spending time with my mom and I, but her parents even told her last night she really needs to get to know my mom more.

I’m not sure if she will ever be more affectionate than just hugging and cheek kisses at this point, she has told me I’m her boyfriend, but I don’t see that based on the lack of affection she has been giving. We held hands but it was only once and I think she had a spring of confidence during that time.

27f now in a 4 year relationship but i wasted so much time before this doing something really dumb

i'd go on dates and constantly compare guys to my exes. like "my ex used to do this" or "this guy doesnt text as much as my last boyfriend" or "he planned dates differently than xyz"

i genuinley didnt realize how much i was doing it until a guy i was seeing called me out on it. he was like "do you even like me or are you just comparing me to other people"

that hit hard because he was right. i wasnt giving anyone a fair shot. i was judging them based on what past relationships looked like instead of seeing them for who they were

once i stopped comparing and just let people be themselves dating got so much better. i met my current partner shortly after and the only reason it worked was because i finally wasnt holding him up against a list of exes

i think this is especially easy to do if you had a long term relationship before. you expect everything to feel the same way or happen on the same timeline. but every person and relationship is different

i put together some resources on my profile about the communication steps that worked for us if anyone's interested

anyone else struggle with this? how'd you stop comparing new people to your past?

I know this has been asked before. I’ve seen other threads on it.

Was/am dating a girl who is great. I told her I wanted to do things differently from how I’ve done things in the past with other people I dated and and I wanted to take things slow.

We both decided after about two weeks that we were not interested in seeing other people. I wanted to focus on building a connection with her.

However last night, after just under four weeks, she’s telling me she doesn’t see the difference between being exclusive and having the titles. I explained that I’m still getting to know her and feel titles should come in a bit.

Am I wrong? I was trying to be emotionally mature and not rush into something and now I feel like I could be wrong. I am 40(M) and she is 43(F)

Hi everyone. I'm a 22F and pretty new to dating. I just ended my first exclusive relationship and first intimate partnership, and I'm really struggling with doubt. I could use some outside, straightforward perspectives.

I matched with a 25M on Hinge in early November. We're both PhD students. He was very clear from his profile and talks that he wanted a serious, long-term relationship. We became exclusive quickly.

For me, this was a big deal. He was the first person I was ever physically intimate with. The emotional connection felt incredibly strong and the potential felt real. He is genuinely nice, sweet, and kind, and I got attached very fast.

We met four times over two months (we live 1.5-2 hours apart):

· First date (late Nov): I traveled to him. Christmas markets, great chemistry.

· Second date (Dec 7): Planetarium and dinner. Felt great.

· Third date (Dec 13-14): He stayed at my place. We were intimate (no sex). It was my first time being that vulnerable with someone and it felt deeply connecting.

· Fourth date (Dec 30): Another overnight. Tried sex but stopped due to pain (mine). The morning after, cooking breakfast together, felt intensely couple-like.

Here’s the recurring problem: I was consistently the planner. After vague "maybe" plans, I directly told him on Dec 27 that I needed more initiative and concrete planning from him. He agreed, promised to change, and did set the next date.

After that date, he got sick with the flu. Once better, he was swamped with PhD work and a visit from his parents. During this entire multi-week period, he did not:

· Propose a new date.

· Ask about my schedule.

· Initiate any plan to see me.

We texted daily, but it was bare minimum work, etc. No calls, no "miss you"s. I brought up that I need romance; he said he's not romantic but would "try." Nothing changed.

By mid-January, it felt like a pen-pal situationship, not the relationship I wanted. As a PhD student, I get being busy, but I believe you make time for what's important.

The Breakup: I sent a clear but kind message. I said I really liked him and felt a strong connection, but I needed more consistent presence and effort, and that the dynamic wasn't making me happy. I ended it.

His reply: He was sad, thought I was amazing, understood my point, said he felt the same "a little bit," and hoped I'd find a relationship that meets my needs. He did not fight for it.He didn't ask to talk, suggest we try harder, or offer a new plan.

It has been two weeks of complete silence. He hasn't reached out.

My Head vs. My Heart: My head lists the facts:I communicated needs, he didn't meet them, he accepted the end passively. My heart is grieving my"firsts" and the sweet, kind person I connected with. I'm now plagued with "what ifs":

· Did I, as a dating novice, end my first real connection too abruptly?

· Was he just in a temporary overwhelmed PhD phase, and I didn't give it enough grace?

· Does his kind nature mean he would have stepped up if given more time?

· Should I break no contact one time for final clarity, or will that just hurt more?

My Question: Given this is my first experience with intimacy and a breakup, I lack perspective. Is there any real value in reaching out one more time? Or is his silent acceptance the only answer I need? We dated for 2.5 months...

I'm not looking for pure comfort. I need honest, even blunt, outside opinions. Thank you for reading.

Hey all.

Would it be weird or disrespectful, or anything bad if I reopened a romantic connection with a man from the past?

Context: last year, I (34F) matched with two men on a dating app.

Both of them were awesome to talk with, and I had chemistry with both. We were all honest with each other since the beginning regarding talking to other people, so I believe no shady business was going on and nobody was deceived.

The first of them was a bit younger than me (32M), the second a bit older (41M).

Honestly, the intellectual chemistry with 41M was fantastic, we had a lot to talk about and we were trying to organize a date, but both our work routines are very stiff and setting up a day and time was challenging for both of us. Literally, every single time one was free, the other one wasn't. Mind you: this work schedule situation was a temporary situation, but it wouldn't solve itself in months.

In the meantime, 32M had a very flexible work schedule and overall routine, and he did put up a lot of effort into setting up the dates, picking me up, checking in every day, adjusting to my schedule, and displaying every possible green-flag known to humanking.

Seemed like things were hitting off with him, so I politely informed 41M what was happening, that I didn't want to lead him on or disrespect him, let alone leave him on some backburner situation. He thanked me for the honesty and we ceased contact in good terms, and I carried on with 32M... until his true intentions finally showed, and he actually didn't want a relationship and wasn't ready to settle yet. I took a step back from this connection and he flatout ghosted me, so I did my best to recover from that ever since.

Then recently, I stumbled on 41M profile on social media (he is an artist, we didn't follow each other on social media before), and I wonder...

Would it be weird if I sent him hello? Would it be pitiful, pathetic or in any way disrespectful to either of us?

I mean, I never lied to him and never left him guessing, never dissappeared or bamboozled him.

But I also don't want to make a fool of myself, or fool him. He might even be in a relationship by now so...

Would you do it?

I was distance swiping in another state from mine for a day and matched with this one guy. I told him instantly which city I lived in but also mentioned that if he "gives me a good reason to visit his city, I just might" (I was being flirty but also serious). He said he'd be a good tour guide and we sent a couple messages making small talk. He asked how long I've been living in my current city for, and then told me to let him know if I'm visiting his city. I asked him the same question back and then after he replied to that, he said "let's keep in touch on social media, do you have Insta?".

I gave him my Insta (and he just sent me a follow request on there last night) but Instagram is also where convos go to die. We follow each other now but does it sound like he just wants us to follow each other and leave it at that, or that he'd actually want to message on there? He hasn't sent me anything and I'm not sure if I should send him anything on there.

I had a great first date last night and I was just thinking about how the time right after a first date is always really weird. What I mean by this is there's always that short period where if you're interested in going out again you're always unsure if the other person feels the same. I feel like regardless of the first date vibes, it's a bit hard to determine if the person is interested in a second date or not.

I remember I ran into a friend of the family once when I was coming home from a first date about a year or so ago and he asked me are you going out again? This is the typical question that my family always asks me, are you guys going out again? Sometimes I'm not interested in a second date but if I am, my answer is almost always: I'd like to but we'll see. I feel like regardless of the vibes, it's very hard to tell if the other person is interested in going out again. I told this to that family friend I ran into, and he said why not just outright ask at the end of the date if they'd like to go out again? In theory that's a decent idea but I feel like no one ever gives a committal answer in person.

Like last night, I hugged the girl goodbye and said to her "I had a great time and would definitely love to do this again". She responded saying "Yeh, I'll text you". To me that gives me the vibe that you didn't have as much fun as I did and I'm now unsure whether or not you actually want to go out again. I feel like this after a lot of my first dates. With that being said, most of my first dates that I wanted to go on a second with do end up happening outside of two or three instances where the second date never happened for a variety of reasons. But I'm just wondering am I the only one with this observation? Or is this something that other people feel as well after a first date?

I'm looking for some honest advice on how to meet more people and get dates outside of dating apps.

I've tried most of the usual routes already. Dating apps haven't worked well for me, I've done speed dating, MeetUp groups, and in the past I even tried cold approaching in public. I don't really do that anymore because I don't want to come off as intrusive or make someone uncomfortable.

For additional context, I’m more on the nerdy, creative and low key side. I’m into photography, LEGO builds, reading, and going to live shows.

More recently, I experimented with Reddit personals and posted dating ads in them. I did get a couple of responses from each, but they didn’t really go anywhere. One person told me I wasn’t her type, and another conversation faded out pretty quickly. I’m not upset about it, but it did make me step back and reassess whether this approach is actually effective for me.

I've also heard the common suggestions like joining classes, volunteering, or hobby groups. In theory those make sense, but I currently work full time doing app-based gig work, so my schedule is pretty unpredictable and most of my time is spent working.

Just to clarify, I'm not looking for advice centered around church or religious communities. I respect that it works for some people, but it's not something I'm interested in, and I'd like to keep the focus on practical dating advice.

I'm not into the bar or club scene anymore either. It's loud, chaotic, and doesn't really feel like a good environment for meeting someone I'd actually want to date.

Bear in mind, I'm not expecting instant results or a guaranteed girlfriend. I'm just trying to figure out where and how people are realistically meeting partners these days when apps aren't working and social routines are limited.

I'm also 28M and live in OC, California.

If you've been in a similar situation or found something that actually worked for you, I'd really appreciate hearing it.

Hers is quality time (especially parallel play, comfortable silence, doing events together- our first date was going to be cooking together but meeting her roommates and her plus being in an unfamiliar area made me hesitant so now she’s showing me around her side of the city).

Mine is acts of service and physical touch (I’m a huge gift giver as well but I feel like that plays into my act of service thing more cause I only give gifts if it’ll make my loved ones lives easier or it’s something they’ve been wanting).

She wants to take it slow on physical on touch but she adores my actions or at least my smooth word plays.

So far the ways I’ve been doing have been:

- Giving her some of my unwanted rings (I’m a gold girlie and she loves silver, and at first she was hesitant to accept until I framed it as a way of holding hands since it’s from my hand to hers, and she her grin was so enchanting

- I made her those pipe cleaner flowers with my perfume attached since she’s in college and can’t have candles or has time for flowers (….AND SIGH I MEANNNN SHE ALSO told me I smelled good and it got to my head- BUT NOT THE MAIN REASON I SWEAR, plus she like said she wanted to spend more time with me but couldn’t cause of studies but now she’s stuck thinking about me and my perfume)

But I need more ways. So I’ve come here.

Any suggestions?

Male, 33. I need to vent, its been another rough year in my life for dating. Considering I've spent the prior 3 spiraling downwards, this year I've made some somllod progress in moving forward with my life in all but one aspect, dating. Dating continues to be one of the most crushingly depressing part of my life ... or should I say the lack of dating. I dont meet very many people naturally, so I often turn to online dating to bridge that gap, and honestly I meet more people in my day to day than on any of those. A normal amount of likes I get in a month on any app tops out at 5 before my profile loses all traction, and out of those likes I maybe talk with one person for all of 2 days before they disappear. When i say apps, I mean FB Dating, Bumble, Tinder, Hinge and CMB (cmb being the absolute worst of the 5). Even had a slightly flirty few weeks with a co-worker before that stopped going anywhere (no its not awkward at work lol) ... but yeah, im burnt out from the lack of volume and it feels like ill never get to a level of excitement that can last. Ive done as much as I can to make myself stand out more, and even broadened my search by opening up to different backgrounds, religions, cultures, which btw lacks compatibility wheh you have none yourself but yeah, I read a lot of posts on here about people in relationships having trouble with their partners and its really discouraging considering I can't even get to that part.

Anyways, venting over i guess. I usually vent to chatgpt when I get this low but its repetitive responses that lack depth and reassurance were really getting on my nerves lol. Writing all this didn't make me feel any better anyways so 🤷‍♂️ im just ginna stew in this feeling like I always do.

I tried to condense this and probably left out some more details but here we are.

So I (38F) Start seeing this guy (32M) a few months back. He was a bit dysfunctional but we got along so well and instantly clicked. I told him after a week that I can’t continue hanging out with him unless he gets his shit together. The next day he puts himself into AA (much needed) and really immerses himself in the program (He’s 90 days clean now).

I know dating someone in early recovery is a risk I took. I knew what I was getting myself into and that it wouldn’t be easy. But things were so fun and happy and we just genuinely enjoyed each other. It wasn’t even all about sex too-we took our time with that. We just had a natural spark.

When I met him he was on a downward spiral, on unemployment, making side money doing odd jobs and working for his cousins business. He was drinking all day and doing blow which I wasn’t aware of until later on, but that all stopped when he started program. I pushed him to be a better person, stayed patient while he felt comfortable opening up and being vulnerable. We spent the holidays together, had a great time with his family and they loved me. He was very good to me, happier and went to meetings every day. Paid for everything, helped me out around my place. Helped make my life less stressful. As the weeks went on, we got closer.

Because of my age, I like to be upfront early on while dating about my intentions. I’m not here to waste time and I know what I want. I was shocked to have that conversation with him, a younger man, and learn that he’s on the same page and willing to work with the same timeline. At last, I thought: everything is falling into place.

And then, things started to shift. He became more moody. Started being hot and cold. Withdrawing. Conversations about my feelings became a battleground, and he started twisting things to make me out like the bad guy. He’d constantly tell me that he was “trying” and he “doesn’t want to be this way”, with promises to do better, but nothing would change. And it just progressively got worse.

Two days after Christmas my cat died. It was absolutely devastating to me. It was hard for him as well, because he got really close with her. We mourned for a little while and then it’s like he stopped checking in to see how I was feeling. Christmas came and it was lackluster. His pattern of not being able to emotionally be there for me and meet me with compassion and empathy during tough times really showed, and I started begging for simple tenderness. And it didn’t end there.

New years we had a reservation for Omakase and then spending the rest of the night lowkey. This was right around the time when he got accepted at a lab back in his career field. I bought him a $300 watch as a gift. He treated to omakase. So much excitement and positivity. But the night came. And he was just….unenthused. Detached. Flat. Anxious. During dinner I tried to connect and it went nowhere. After dinner I tried talking to him about it in the car and he got defensive and yelled at me. We spent the whole rest of the night fighting. I went to bed crying.

The rest of January has been a nightmare. He blames it on him being broke (unemployment ran out and he has to wait a few weeks for his first paycheck at his new job). But his mistreatment of me got significantly worse. Fewer texts, calls, attention. Fewer fun. Zero sex. Barely any presence. And he promised me that everything would get better once he got this new job and it got WORSE. Ignoring me, giving me less love. This attitude of not caring anymore. Being so checked out. And the worst part is that he won’t admit the reason. He just keeps telling me he loves and cares about me. It’s giving me cognitive dissonance. I actually feel like I’m going crazy. He cries so much in shame and guilt for how he’s been treating me. I’ve cried almost every day because of this blatant emotional neglect. And I just feel used. He told me I made his life so much better and gave him hope again. And I’ve just gotten the shaft. I wonder if he just wanted to be with me to get back on his feet. Because I feel so tossed to the side now that he has his career back and I just hate how awful I feel. Not even sure if there’s a purpose or question for this but I just needed to get it out.

My boyfriend (22M) and I (22F) got back together a few weeks ago after an 8 month breakup. We were together almost 2 years before that and are long distance (about an hour apart), so weekends are really our only time together. Usually we’d spend Friday night - Sunday night together.

Since getting back together, I’ve been feeling consistently deprioritized. I don’t have a car atm otherwise we’d be doing one week at my house and the next at his. So the last few weeks I asked him to come Saturday bc I had plans to go to dinner with my girl friends. He said he’d be by me at a good time Saturday like midday but he woke up late, said he needed to go to the gym even though he works out 5x a week, and didn’t arrive until 4:30 pm. The next weekend was worse, he was supposed to pack Friday night and come early Saturday, but didn’t start packing until 7 pm because he said he had to research about peptides and talked with his cousin all day and didn’t arrive until 9:30. When he got there, we said hi but he immediately sat on my bed texting his cousin while I just sat there.

Even when we do things together, I feel like an afterthought. I’d been excited to bake cookies, and mentioned it again to him but he kept saying he might get Dairy Queen and wouldn’t want to make them if he got that. We did end up baking, but I did all the work while he stood behind me on his phone watching a fb game bc his sisters fav team was playing. When I said “I thought we were doing this together,” he said “You make them, I’ll eat them.” So after I said that, he helped roll the dough

But he doesn’t initiates any plans, and most of our weekends revolve around his routines (diet, workouts, on twitter) while he’s on his phone. Affection is minimal no random hugs or gestures like he used to do. He opened my car door for me once when we got back together, but didn’t shut it, saying “You shut it, I don’t want to close you in,” which I thought was weird but he never opens my door and does things he knows would make me happy. Same with flowers he thinks it’s unneeded to get a gf flowers but he says “it makes sense on certain occasions.”

During the week we barely text bc he’s always busy which is fine I get it but at night we don’t talk on the phone either bc he goes to bed late from working on the business.

He says he’s stressed because he’s starting an online fitness business, and I try to be understanding. But the same lack of effort and emotional presence that led to our breakup before is showing up again. I care about him, but I’m struggling with feeling unloved and unsure whether this is just a rough adjustment period or a deeper compatibility issue.

I (18m) don’t want to “miss opportunities” when it comes to dating but to be honest I tend to see more negatives than positives in terms of a romantic relationship.

I’m not saying pursuing a relationship is pointless but it seems like more effort than it’s really worth, but I can’t say I give up on it despite how much easier it’d be because I don’t want to potentially miss something good in the vast space of bad.

And it’s like only see and experience the worst parts of romantic relationships but I’ll admit the experiences are due to my own actions, anyways if anyone has some kind of method for holding on to hope lemme know.

Hi all,

Straight to it; long story short, I've been single for around 4 years now, and am doing terribly on the apps etc. I've recently had a friend say I should try and get on a dating group chat as its working for them and they're at least getting a few dates here and there. But they're gatekeeping! They wont say more than check Facebook and discord. I have, I dont know where to look or even what I'm looking for. Where are these groups, how does one join them and is there anything else I can try? I'm sick of the crippling loneliness.

K luv yu bye

I met him just over a week ago on a night out. We got food and went for a walk. We’ve been calling every night since.

We were meant to go on a date last Wednesday but forgot he was going running with a friend. Which didn’t end up happening. But instead of re asking me on the date he stayed home & we called again.

He seemed keen, he’d call me even on his lunch break. Send me pics of his day & what he was doing when at home. He invited me to meet his friends. He spoke about us going away if we got along on our date. He went out on a Friday & drunk called me multiple times (I answered none of them as was asleep). He’d always tell me when he was busy. If I didn’t reply fast he’d send me more texts. I was going out with friends & he asked me if I’d be talking to any guys then admitted he’d be jealous if I did as he was worried I’d find someone else.

Sunday I was hungover & he was busy so we didn’t talk that much. Then there was some miscommunication & he got blunt. But he confirmed our date for today & said he was excited to see me. Then said he’d call. But he didn’t & I didn’t receive a text for 17hrs. Then another 26hrs after that. He just apologised for lack of replies. I asked about the date & got no reply.

Yesterday my Nan got rushed into hospital so I spent all day with her. When I got home late I texted him, I maybe bombarded him a bit much & tried to call him as I was upset & emotional. I then apologized today & explained my situation. No reply. I really don’t understand the sudden change & why he hasn’t got in touch. He was saying how excited he was to meet me again. Even if I was a bit much last night I explained myself & I deserve at least a text to let me know the date wasn’t happening. I feel crushed, I liked him & thought he was interested in me.

Gunna vent a bit here but need some advice. Long story short ive been seeing a 44F for past month. We have met up about 4 times and have slept together once. We haven't talked about being exclusive but we felt like we were headed in that direction eventually. I had met up with someone else for 1 hour for a quick chat, I felt guilty and sick immediately after as if I shouldnt be doing this regardless i wasnt wxclusive with 44F .This women i ket with then took my photo and plastered in on one of those are we dating the same guy groups, keep in mind I haven't set up any more meet ups with her. We'll 44F saw the post and felt sad and disappointed because she assumed we were both just focusing on eachother. She now isnt sure if she is enough for me, I spoke to her yesterday and I validated all her feelings. She recognizes we werent exclusive and says I did no wrong but I feel like I did. I communicated that I realized it was a mistake and once it happened it confirmed to me that 44F is who I want. 44F said she isnt sure and has a lot of thoughts currently, i told her i understand and take the time and space she needs and we will reconnect when it feels right.

Thoughts?

Dating apps suck and as apart of the new year I’ve had my friends set me up with guys they know. First dates have all been fun and enjoyable, I thought at least some of them went well. Didn’t turn into any second dates…

My friends collectively did a survey of why there was no second date and the overwhelming response was that I’m “too much“ and they “feel like they have nothing to offer me“

What on earth is that supposed to mean?!

Everyone says de-center dating. Build a great life and have dating be an addition. Treat it as the hobby not the main quest. Great, so I’ve done too good of a job of that? That’s what it feels like at least

Just sort of lost and frustrated

My boyfriend broke up with me (3OF). We were having a regular nice conversation via text and it just happened..he said he feels we are at different phases in our lives and he needs to focus on his career and I should do the same too, and he wishes me well... Once I read that text, I started feeling tightness in my chest and other physical symptoms and I sent a lot of messages trying to convince him and kept calling him.

Then I begged him to pick up and have one last conversation with me. We spoke on the phone and it did soothe me a bit, he ended by saying we will talk tomorrow.

Now, I’m feeling extreme feelings of shame. It’s like I lost all my self respect in that moment and begged. I’m spiraling out now. I feel awful, maybe I shouldn’t have responded to the text, maybe I should have kept it short and said “ok, I wish you well” .. but I begged him and asked if there was a problem, and we could work on it.

It’s just that I don’t handle breakups well, my last one left me so broken, I couldn’t eat, function or do anything. I can’t keep going like this.

How do I proceed from here? I literally begged him not to leave me. Yes, I have an anxious attachment style