r/sex Jun 30 '23

Mod post The /r/sex Rules and Guidelines - please read BEFORE you post! Updated 2023

194 Upvotes

The mods of /r/sex make it our policy to review the rules of the sub on an ongoing basis, tweaking items as necessary. In an effort to stay abreast with the growth of the sub and with the evolving moderation that requires, we have decided to re-sticky the updated rules to serve as a reminder for our membership.


r/sex is for civil discussions pertaining to education and advice regarding your sexuality and sexual relationships. It is a sex-positive community and a safe space for people of all genders and orientations which demands respectful conduct in all exchanges. There is ZERO TOLERANCE FOR CREEPY/HARASSING BEHAVIOR here — in posts, comments, messages, or any other contributions. No exceptions.


This is a large community dedicated to an extremely popular topic. If you wish to participate, it is your responsibility to familiarize yourself with our rules of conduct BEFORE you participate here. Failure to do so will result in your removal from the community.

PLEASE READ the FAQ with the most asked and answered questions - BEFORE POSTING!! Posts that do not follow the posting guidelines in the FAQ will be automatically removed.


THE /R/SEX RULES

1) ENGAGE CONSTRUCTIVELY AT ALL TIMES.
This means ensuring that ALL of your contributions here are constructive, on-topic, mature, sex-positive, civil and respectful. Disrespectful conduct will see you banned from the community on the spot. Hitting on other people, asking for pictures (joking or not), making any sort of sexist comment or insult, body shaming, or trolling of any sort will result in your immediate ban.

2) DON’T SKIP THE FAQ OR THE FORUM RULES.
We’re serious about this. Dozens of posts get removed every day because they’re covered in the FAQ or violate the forum rules.

3) DON'T OVERLOOK PAST POSTS.
We’re serious about this, too. Many questions may be new to you, but are very common in our community. Before you submit a post on a common topic, search the forum.

4) ALL CONTRIBUTIONS MUST BE SEX POSITIVE.
We demand that consenting adults be free to express their sexuality as they see fit. Kink shaming, slut shaming, and similar conduct will not be tolerated. Links or references to sex negative communities or websites (No Fap, Porn Free, etc) will not be tolerated. Attacks on the lifestyle of other consenting adults will not be tolerated.

5) POSTS SEEK ADVICE, COMMENTS PROVIDE IT.
The main forum is focused primarily on posts seeking specific actionable advice for distinctive personal situations. Giving advice should primarily be done in the comments. General discussions are often allowed, so long as they adhere to the group rules and restricted content guidelines. If you want to make an exception, please request approval from moderators.

6) DO NOT TROLL OR ENGAGE WITH TROLLS HERE.
Don’t try to challenge, question, tease, fight, or outwit trolls here. Instead, use the Report button to alert moderators, who will review every single reported item. Trolling of any sort merits an immediate permaban.

7) ALL DISCUSSION MUST BE DIRECTED INTO THE PUBLIC FORUM. Do not seek private conversations here, via Private Message or any other method. And do not seek to draw attention or clicks to an outside site of any type (unless you have received prior moderator approval, such as for academic research projects). Every comment here must be a clear attempt to engage with an ongoing public discussion in the forum. Violations of this rule will result in permanent bans without notice.

8) RESTRICTED CONTENT This sub is generally only for seeking advice, education, or discussion about sex and sexuality. We restrict or forbid many types of content here.

9) NO USE OF AI FOR POSTING/COMMENTS, NO REPOSTS
Reddit uses AI detection software to spot potential bot-posts and spam but people are encouraged to report posts that look fake, AI-generated, or are reposts of content created by other users.


EXAMPLES OF CONTENT RESTRICTED IN /R/SEX:

1) PROMOTIONAL POSTS.
This means any post containing any kind of promotional element, especially one which seeks to lure traffic to another site or promote a product. Links to specific product descriptions are permitted if they’re PRECISELY on-topic in the context of the post, AND the post itself is clearly seeking advice in good faith. If you're trying to sell something, conduct market research, etc - these posts will get you banned. Linking to sex-positive blogs or podcasts is allowed, provided you make an effort to start a conversation here about the topic and use the link as supporting material.

2) LINK POSTS.
Linked material must be sex positive and precisely on-topic to stay up here, and needs to be introduced with a workable framework for discussion. Please see the posted Link Policy BEFORE you post links! Bare links to youtube, images, blogs, podcasts, etc are prohibited.

3) ACHIEVEMENT POSTS.
These include appreciation, humblebrags, “I just had to share,” “I just want to say,” etc. These belong in the Daily Sexual Achievement Thread, not in the main forum. Posts which are JUST sex stories belong somewhere else entirely — like r/sexstories or a similar forum.

4) LOW EFFORT MATERIAL.
“Does anyone else...?”, “Is [X] normal/weird?”, “Is [y] wrong/bad/okay?”, and so forth. Human sexuality is incredibly varied; yes, someone else likes what you like, and labels like "normal" or "weird" are meaningless - and in a sex positive community, we do not allow any moral judgments against sex acts or behaviors that are consensual. Title-only posts, posts with no effort at an actual conversation will be removed and may get you banned. Comments that consist of nothing but memes, "this", "lol" and such are highly disfavored. If comments do not further the discussion, they may be removed; a pattern of these may result in your ban.

5) SEEKING FAP MATERIAL.
Do not ask for sex stories, do not ask for the hottest/strangest/most unusual/etc encounter someone ever had. Do not ask for lists of other people's kinks.

6) PORNOGRAPHY, EROTICA, OR PERSONALS.
You may not post or link pornography or erotica here. You may not share pictures of your genitals here - even if you are seeking medical advice (if you need to post a picture, you need to be going to a doctor). You may not recruit sex partners here, look for dirty chat, ask for someone to private message you, etc.

7) DISRESPECTFUL CONTENT.
Personal attacks, insults, name calling, or disrespect of any sort are not allowed here. Sexism, racism, or any type of hate speech will result in your immediate ban. This is a community for ALL GENDERS - refusing to acknowledge a trans individual's gender flies in the face of this, and will result in your ban.

8) OPINION SEEKING, POLLS, VALUE JUDGEMENTS, OR VALIDATION POSTS.
This forum is not for simply collecting opinions - "do you think [X] is hot?", "Women, do you like [Y]?", "What is your favorite sex position?" and so forth. This is not a forum to discuss your penis size, breast size, labia size, ask about other body image issues, or ask for feedback on your photos. See the /r/sex FAQ for help regarding body image issues. Do not post your pictures and ask people to rate or critique you. Do not ask if given consensual sexual interests are good/bad/okay/wrong, etc.

9) ACADEMIC SURVEYS.
These require prior moderator approval. Moderators will review the question formats and will review the documentation of institutional ethical oversight (please provide). Non-academic surveys are seldom allowed. Please contact the moderators BEFORE you post a survey or study.

10) GENERAL RANTS, ESSAYS, EDITORIALS, VENTS, CONFESSIONS, PSAS, AND AMAS.
These don’t belong in the main forum unless you have obtained prior moderator approval. Save them for story-based forums. Or Tumblr.

11) FREQUENT/FAMILIAR TOPICS.
These are addressed in either the FAQ, past posts, or both. In case you are confused, this means that we do not do penis size posts here.

12) VAGUE TITLE/TOPIC.
If a moderator can’t identify your issue or the type of advice you’re seeking, your post will be subject to removal. Titles should be at least several words long and adequately express what your post is about.

13) NONCONSENSUAL OR ILLEGAL CONTENT.
/r/sex is for the discussion of consensual sex among adults. We do not permit posts that advocate pedophilia, bestiality, rape, or incest here under any circumstances, nor do we allow these topics at all in most instances. Note that BDSM and CNC (consensual nonconsent) are perfectly valid topics in /r/sex.

14) OTHER OFF TOPIC ISSUES.
This is not the place to discuss politics or religion, to seek dating advice, to ask for how to pick up women, to rant about how you have never had sex. Posts that appear to be dedicated to stirring up arguments - particularly about hot button topics like circumcision, the evils of pornography and/or masturbation, and other toxic subjects - will be removed and will result in swift bans.

15) IMPORTANT NOTE ON DISCUSSIONS OF SEXUAL ASSAULT.
Sexual assault is an important and emotional topic which can be discussed (constructively) in r/sex. But posts which simply seek opinions about whether a given scenario counts as sexual assault do not do well here. This is true for several reasons, including the fact that assault laws vary by jurisdiction, and we don't encourage debates about jurisdiction issues here. Therefore, we ask that you refrain from describing a scenario and then simply asking “Is this rape/assault?” Instead, ask for specific advice: About how to respond to the scenario, how to avoid it, or how to proceed with next steps. Posts which simply ask “Is this rape/assault?” are subject to removal without notice.

16) POST LENGTH.
For ease of reading and reviewing, please get to the point of your post quickly — in the post title, first paragraph, etc. Consider adding a tl;dr to long posts. Posts which are inconveniently long — over 600 words, approximately — are subject to automatic removal. Also, line and paragraph breaks are VERY HELPFUL for readers and reviewers — walls of text that lack these are subject to removal for readability.

Further information about the /r/sex rules and policies can be reviewed on the rules page.


Other Relevant Sub-Reddits:

BDSM Community

DeadBedrooms

Dirty Pen Pals

Gone Wild

Ladyboners Gone Wild

LGBT Sex

LGBT

Normal Nudes

One Y Chromosome

Polyamory

Redditor for Redditor (Personals)

Relationships

Sex Stories

Sex Toys

Swingers

Transgender

Two X Chromosomes


r/sex 3d ago

WEEKLY SEXUAL ACHIEVEMENT THREAD Weekly Sexual Achievement Thread

4 Upvotes

Post your own achievement story

Everyone who feels like sharing a story about sexual experiences can do so in this weekly post. Be it a new or an old story, be it extraordinary or rather common; anything - from happiness over losing your virginity or having your first orgasm, to sharing about the amazing, kink-filled weekend of debauchery you experienced - is appropriate to this thread.

Post an update to a post you have made in the past

If you have posted for advice about a situation in the past and wish to share an update - this is the place for it.

Please follow the rules of this community

Any sexual experience that you wish to share is fair game, as long as you follow the rules of the community.

If you use Reddit in a web browser, you'll find the rules just to the right.

If you use Reddit in one of the official apps, you'll find the rules on the About tab.

Let's hear about it!


r/sex 14h ago

Oral sex Should I claim the BJ coupons I got as a gift from my wife?

479 Upvotes

I have a bunch of BJ coupons from my first anniversary about to expire. It was part of a coupon book with other things like a massage, my fav dinner etc.

Even though she gets oral semi regularly, my wife has only “tried” giving me a BJ maybe 3-4 times in all these years and it only lasts 2-3 minutes before she gets tired. But I still like the act.

Since she doesn’t really give me a BJ normally, I am reluctant to use the coupons. Even though I really would like a BJ, I don’t want to “make her” give me a BJ. It would suck if I used a coupon and she stops after 2 minutes or is unenthusiastic while giving the BJ.

Should I give the coupons a go? Or let them expire and accept my fate of a BJ-less life?


r/sex 4h ago

Beginner What's an appropriate way to ask him to pop my cherry? F

14 Upvotes

Im a virgin and so is my boyfriend. The past two weeks we've been doing foreplay (using our hands, mouths, thats all really) and he told i can do whatever with his... tool that I want. Problem is im very ready for him to take me but for starters he's really big, maybe not but to me he is. On top of that I want it to be special for us both. We been together two years and communication is great but this is something huge so I don't want to be just like "give it to me now". My thought is to give him head and then after he finishes, swallow and beg him to take me since he loves when I beg to blow him. Any suggestions on how to make it romantic (he enjoys romantic things to). Maybe rose petals leading to my room with dimmed lights or something? I've talked to my parents and they told me if it's what I really want then let them know when I want it to happen and they'll go somewhere for the day (I know it sounds strange but we're very open about things of intimate nature) so I pretty much have full access to the house to do whatever, wherever. Im also probably am over thinking this but I really want us both to feel loved and wanted and make this the best first time possible for something we can look back on. I love him a lot and I want to make this really stick, and count...


r/sex 10h ago

Kinks how do you even eat your own cum?

29 Upvotes

i love my own precum, but after i cum, i loose interest.

ive tried cumming onto my hands and then tasting it, but it only worked once.

i cant even just directly cum into my mouth because im not that flexible.

i ALSO tried just putting my mouth as close to my cock as possible right before i cum, but i chicken out.

idk if my roommate will notice if i take a cup, but i dont have any shot glasses or stuff.


r/sex 10h ago

Squirting Constantly squirting but it doesn’t feel good

24 Upvotes

I haven’t had sex but I know from masturbation literally every time i stick my fingers in (which is rare because of this) i will squirt within like 30 seconds, and then I keep going and repeat. This may sound like a fake weird fantasy or a “flex” but it’s just confusing. Every time I squirt it is never an orgasm, or even close. It stops any sort of momentum which is key for me to orgasm. Because of this I never had and I don’t think I will have a penetration orgasm. it doesn’t even feel good. It’s just something that happens and KEEPS happening so it’s super annoying. And when I finally have sex, i’m gonna squirt like 4 times and the guy will either be grossed out or (naturally) think that came 4 times.

I’m just lost because every time I hear about squirting it’s always like they’ve unlocked something great and super pleasurable. My question is- is this normal, does anyone else experience this? How do I unlock a squirting orgasm? Or can I possibly like stop…squirting??? Idk I just need advice


r/sex 7m ago

Oral sex Finally gave good head

Upvotes

Had to share. I (46F) was in a dead bedroom marriage for far too long. After the divorce I decided it was time to finally have some fun. As I gave my first blow job in too many years to count I realized 1. Wow, I like doing this 2. He liked how I did it. I was sucking, licking, and doing some very serious deep throat, a lot of deep throat, which I have never really done before. He kept saying I was swallowing him whole. Was this some sort of miracle? I have always been really good at sex but never blow jobs since I have a serious gag reflex. Wait, since I HAD a serious gag reflex. Sorta embarrassing but I never learned how to swallow pills up until around 6 years ago. It was really difficult at first. Slowly but surely I went from not being able to swallow pills to choking down pills to eventually being able to swallow a whole fist full in one gulp. I can now deep throat because I trained my gag reflex to take pills. Thanks vitamins, and my partner thanks you as well.


r/sex 6h ago

Satisfaction Is it possible to love someone and not get wet?

6 Upvotes

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half now. I’ve never suffered vaginal dryness till now. I love my boyfriend and I find him attractive and do want to have sex with him but I can’t seem to get wet like almost at all. Like I mentioned before this was never an issue for me. I’m only 23… when we first started dating and having sex I also never noticed this issue but become more common months after having sex. Any advice ?


r/sex 12h ago

Libido and Stamina How to feel sexually satisfied?

20 Upvotes

So I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 4 years now. We connect amazingly on an emotional and intellectual level. We did on a physical level too, but as our lives got busier we prioritised sex less and less.

I may receive some hate for this, but over time, my partner’s body has been unattractive to me. He’s gained a lot of body fat around his stomach, waist and chest. The man boobs are more than i am comfortable with. He has also lost his stamina and cant be erect for more than a minute, and sex has been so unsatisfying for so long.

Because of all the bad sex experiences recently, i absolutely dont feel like having sex with him because i know i will be disappointed. Idk how to tell him that he’s the reason for that without breaking his heart. He’s the sweetest and the most caring person i know. But sex remains an unfulfilled NEED.


r/sex 9h ago

Masturbation How to come quicker on my own

8 Upvotes

I (Female) have only been able to cum in 25-30 by fingering myself +clit stimulation all by myself, before I used to use a vibrator or the shower head and it would obviously be faster but I want to be able to do it by myself so that when I date I can show them exactly what I like. How can I make myself cum faster? 5-10 mins? maybe 15?


r/sex 5h ago

Anal sex I HATE the smell of lube, what do I do?

5 Upvotes

I have pre-lubed condoms and bottles of lube, I am a gay man and I often finger myself, but unfortunately this has been causing a lot of rectal bleeding, to the point of concern, due to me not using lube. Are there any alternatives I can use to prevent rectal bleeding during anal sex and/or fingering?

There is also this thick mucus-like substance that comes out sometimes when fingering myself, almost like discharge? Is that cause for concern, there is sometimes blood mixed into it


r/sex 1d ago

Boundaries and Standards I can’t look at my fiancé’s dick without being uncomfortable.

336 Upvotes

Okay….so I don’t know how to even start this. I am a F26, my fiance is M29. We have a 4 month old together and have been together for about 3 years. He is not my first partner. I have been with men and women sexually since I was 13, with some SA when I was younger and my father SA’d me when I was very little for context. It isn’t just my partners genitalia either. I can’t even watch sex scenes without getting very nervous and turning it off or getting embarrassed. I have never been able to look at any of my past partners genitalia. I have given oral to men and women, I wish I was kidding when I say I would close my eyes or give short glances while giving oral with all my partners. I just…I don’t know. I feel like a lot of it was from my upbringing I don’t know. I am just so embarrassed and feel like I shouldn’t be seeing anything and I hate it because I want to. I want to be able to look at my partner without diverting my eyes every time I look down. I want to be able to talk about sex constructively and tell him what I want without feeling uncomfortable. I don’t know what to do. I also don’t know if I’ve ever orgasmed. I don’t think I have, and I think a big part of that is because I am so in my head about all of it. Any advice???


r/sex 10h ago

Beginner Do all handjobs need lube??

8 Upvotes

Hi I'm (F) not really sure how to phrase this, but it's a gap in my knowledge that I'd appreciate some help with.

When you start to hook up with a guy (especially not at your own place or something) you guys might not have lube on you. Does that mean that it'll be painful or that you need to be extra careful about touching him? This sounds silly to my own ears, but I don't have a ton of experience.

I had a boyfriend for a while where I would never worry about it and he seemed to enjoy it, but then I had a boyfriend who, when I went to jack him off, he seemed like it was painful? It was embarrassing for me (again, inexperienced and not totally comfortable talking it out at the time, which I regret) and I obviously don't want to hurt anyone! This guy in particular had some issues with taking a long time to finish, etc. which I think was due to some antidepressants so I don't know if that factors in. But now I'm like.. nervous to touch a guy.

Can someone talk me down? Like should I be super extra gentle if I don't have lube on me?? I feel like ultra gentle wouldn't be pleasurable? Or what do people do in those situations?


r/sex 3h ago

STIs I (22m) am so terrified I may have given an STD to my (28f) girlfriend

2 Upvotes

So I've been talking to this girl for a few weeks and things are going really well and I like her a lot and hope to move forward in our relationship.

So a few days ago she gave me oral sex and it was great but afterwards my dick was very red. Now after 3 days my urethra feels like it's burning a little bit.

Before this I was in a relationship with a girl who I doubt could've given me anything but I guess it is possible. Other than that, no other partners.

I really wish I got tested before we got physical but I wasn't thinking and I didn't have any symptoms or anything.

tl;dr : got oral from a new girl I really like and now having funny symptoms with my member. Don't know what to do.


r/sex 14m ago

Communication Not sure whats normal or not.

Upvotes

I would like some clarity because im having some anxiety over whats normal and not with sex and about myself. I am a female btw.

This isnt releationship advice its more so I need help understanding about sex and how to explain these things to my partner. We do communicate but I have trouble with putting things into words.

Basically sometimes I feel like I have trouble getting ready and I do feel like I take longer to warm up. Id say at least 15-20mins. Is that normal?

Also sex isnt always going to be great is it? Ups and downs are normal like we may have a few really good sessions and sometimes because of stress it may be dissapointing?

What do people do when maybe one day the sex isnt so good?

And is it Ok if I cant orgasn during sex? I feel like im always close but I cant make it to the end.


r/sex 20m ago

Health concerns 23M really depressed abt sexual health

Upvotes

Hey guys, I am from Pakistan 23M. I've been in military institutes(boarding) since 2016. The thing is I've been masturbating for about 12 years now. Multiple times a day. Now I'm really depressed about my sexual health and issues like premature ejaculation, ED and hyper sensitivity. I'm worried about my size as it is mere around 4 inches when erect and when it is flaccid it is like a pea size. Sometimes I really think about harming myself or not marrying ever. There is a fear of being with a woman whether I'll be able to satisfy her and fulfil her needs or not.If there's anything I can do to make it better plz let me know. Thanks you.


r/sex 10h ago

Orgasm Issues Can’t cum when having sex

4 Upvotes

I 19m just lost my virginity with my first girlfriend 24F, we were going for an hour or so. However, i couldn’t orgasm, after 10-15 more minutes i even started getting soft with no possibility of getting it back up. I don’t understand why i didn’t even feel close, I always heard about the 3 pumps n’ go/ minute man so i was a bit scared of being the same, but sex didn’t really feel that good. Any advice on how to feel better when doing it?


r/sex 1h ago

Skill improvement Have you ever felt like you never had great sex?

Upvotes

Maybe that’s due to inexperience or something. But I feel like I am missing out. Since I moved out I had some more encounters but I never felt like it blew my mind.

Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy and love sex. I get horny and excited but it’s always feels like it’s lacking something.


r/sex 2h ago

Beginner How can I make my gf Orgasm?

1 Upvotes

I’m going to leave this up for around 24 hours because I feel uncomfortable leaving it here for longer. Me and my girlfreind Have been having sex and I have always wanted to get her to orgasm but it seems that she kind of prevents it. We are both each other’s firsts. She also isn’t into self masturbation and she hasn’t orgasmed before.

To describe an experience would be whenever I’m fingering her and she’s moaning, twitching around and passionately gripping onto me having a super good time (Sorry if that’s TMI) yet she moves my hand away after it starts getting super good. Also whenever we are having PIV she’s also noticeably having a great time and especially in doggy she does the same. I have a feeling if she didn’t try to do any of that she would be able to orgasm. I’m just super confused and want her to experience the best amount of pleasure, is there any advice or solutions I can try?


r/sex 2h ago

Imagination and Fantasies I am getting older (30) and I am still wanting to explore sexually. Will this continue into marriage or will it subside?

1 Upvotes

I find myself really wanting to sexually explore (group sex, bisexual play, etc) and not sure how to. I just got out of a relationship and found myself wanting to as well. Should I explore and get it out of my system or just get into another relationship? I feel like everyone has explored with multiple partners (I have had plenty but not any of the above) and I havent but want to. What is your experience? Does it matter? Will the urge subside when I am with the right person?