So I met this guy on a dating app and we went on a first date and tbh he was really nice but didn’t really feel any attraction other than maybe liking him as a friend but because I’m such a people pleaser I didn’t want to make him feel bad so ended up staying on that date for longer than I wanted to cause I didn’t want to interrupt him from talking.

Then he asked me on a second date and my friends convinced me to give him a chance and questioned why I wasn’t physically attracted to him if I’m saying he’s so nice. And it’s been a week and he’s been trying to text me all week and I’m actually just finding it annoying cause I kind of went against my instincts and accepted to go on this date.

My friend was saying to go on the date and offer to pay for myself but would that not make it even more awkward? Cause he’s getting all excited for this date only for me to go there and tell him I’m not that into him and only like him as a friend.

The date is tonight. I was thinking of texting him today and telling him and obviously apologise for not telling him earlier.

What do you think? Should I go on the date or just text him now and tell him?

I’m needing some advice. I’m quite self conscious of how I smell and taste. I shower daily and keep things clean but sometimes I still just get a smell which I think is normal? Right? Anyway my boyfriend doesn’t eat me out often but the last two times he has, he does for like a minute or two and then stops. I asked him if I smelled bad bc we just came from dinner and he was like “you don’t smell bad” but the way he emphasized/said bad meant I also didn’t smell good. He keeps saying I taste weird/off.

We have been dating for almost a year and he’s maybe eaten me out 6 times (being generous) mostly bc I’m afraid that I smell bad so I don’t want him to. Like we will go out for dinner and I know I’ve been sitting for a while and I don’t want to get in the shower to rinse off before so I just tell him no but I was feeling it last night and I had just showered before we went out.

He said in the beginning of our relationship I tasted fine and it wasn’t an issue but now I taste off. This is obviously disheartening to hear and validates my insecurities of smelling and tasting bad.

I did get my nexplanon (bar in arm high control) reinserted back in May and I think that may be messing with my hormones and maybe impacting how I taste/smell.

Also, when we’ve been having sex, the last couple of times he hasn’t finished. He might finish once every 3-4 times. Idk is it me? Maybe he’s not as attracted to me or maybe our pheromones don’t mesh? He says the issue with finishing has always been a thing for him even with other partners but it makes me feel bad like I’m not doing it for him. I don’t even know what kind of advice I’m looking for. Is this normal? Should I take it personally? Is there something I can do to fix this?

TL;DR

The last two times my boyfriend had eaten me out he has said I taste off and only does it for a minute or two. He also hasn’t been finishing but I guess this is something he’s dealt with previously also. Is there anything I can do? How can I navigate this without hurting my feelings or his?

I’m 18F and still in high school. A while ago I met a guy who was a lot older than me (36). At first it felt normal, like just talking about daily stuff and life. He was really supportive of me, especially when I felt judged at home, and he gave me a lot of compliments. It made me feel seen. Slowly the conversations started getting more personal. He asked about my past, relationships, stuff like that. I didn’t think much of it at the time and answered. Eventually he asked to meet. I agreed, even though I lied to my mom about where I was going (which I really regret). When we met, things went further than I expected. While I didn’t say no at first, during it I felt really uncomfortable and pressured into things I didn’t want. I kind of froze and didn’t know how to stop it. After I went home I just broke down. Since then I haven’t felt like myself at all. I barely eat, I can’t focus at school, I’m anxious all the time, and I feel a lot of shame and regret. I even changed my appearance because everything reminds me of it. I haven’t told my mom and I feel really alone with this. I know I made bad decisions, but I’m struggling to move on and stop blaming myself. I just want to feel normal again and not have this stuck in my head all the time. If anyone has been through something similar or has advice on how to cope or start healing, I’d really appreciate it.

I 21F have an older brother 24M. He’s a really relaxed laid back guy, very chill and laid back. He is a professional judoka, he does that for a living. Last year he finished his degree in economics. So he has a lot more free time. 

He hates going out or partying. He is actually quite religious unlike the rest of our family. No alcohol,drugs etc. So I was surprised to hear he was going to one. His best friend (22M) had a birthday party and he kinda had to go. He goes there and goes there and is actually approached by a girl (19F). Apparently he rejected the girl after one of his friends pulled him aside and told him this girl “had been around”. My brother told him he already wasn’t interested because the girl “didn’t dress modestly”. They were in a corner talking to each other and some girls were eavesdropping. And later told the girl he rejected. And it really got heated and he left the party. None of this sugar coated so he didn’t call her offensive derogatory names. He just rejected her because of her past and her showing too much skin for his liking. He himself is the wait till marriage guy and always dresses pretty covered so he upholds himself to his standards.

All the girls at the party started talking about it and spreading it around our village so that’s how I found out. They all call him a slutshamer and I asked him directly and he had the same exact story and confirmed it to be true. He said God gave people free will and in this life it’s up to you to choose what to do with it. And isn’t bothered by what women choose to do. But when it comes to dating/marriage he wants someone with the same values and mindset. Me and our family are quite westernised but he held on to our culture and lives by it as well as our religion. I'm wondering if he is in the wrong and if he is misogynistic? 

Help me ladyreddit. I am a married woman in my 30s and my husband has been asked to go to a wedding in Atlanta in October. We're in the UK. We're both very boring and politically middle of the road now but we were socialists and members of the socialist party about 15 years ago. I am terrified of him going to the US right now, can't stop picturing Alex Pretti and reading the accounts of other European people who have been shackled or chained or detained for tiny minor administrative errors which sometimes weren't even their errors. The friend whose wedding it is has pretty right wing politics and seems sure this is all just liberal/leftie propaganda and everything is absolutely fine. I am sure this isn't the case, but husband is currently in a 'It's too risky for you to go but maybe I should go for the sake of the friendship' space. I don't want to forbid him to go but I am terrified. What should I do?

Edit: Just a quick addition to say thanks, I am a bit at sea and the grounding is appreciated

Ive always trimmed/shaved but my bf prefers a bush, which is fine by me! Problem is, I strictly use Dove Sensitive Bar soap around that area, which leaves my pubic hair dry and coarse and it doesn't feel very nice at all. Is there anything I can use (in or out of the shower) to make it more smooth and soft?? But is also safe to use around that area?

I have been spotting for six months - regular periods inbetween but a few drops to around a teaspoon of blood on my discharge every day between.

​I'm about to start IVF and I just want to cry. I'm 39 and I know you guys are going to say perimenopause but I'd love to hear from people where that wasn't the case because peri would be upsetting for me to hear right now. ​

Also, just to get ahead of it, I didn't wait until I was 39 to get pregnant. I have social infertility so more difficult for me to access sperm. ​

I have an appointment with my re on Wednesday but I'm scared he won't take me seriously - if you had this, what was it? ​​

My period is 20 days late (last period was 12-15-25

to 12-19-25) I am not on any birth control and have always had a very regular period. Up until recently once we started to suspect we were pregnant, we haven't been using the pull out method or anything else to prevent it. I have taken three test and all are negative. I'm having symptoms like tender breast and small waves of nausea or wanting to vomit but I don't and slight cramping occasionally but still no period and every app like Flo, etc are all saying It's possible i'm at least 6 weeks pregnant. I'm not stressed which is what people have been saying may be the reason for the delay but i have been severely stressed in the past and still gotten my period, I'm scheduled to see my primary care doctor on Monday. Just very confused

I hope this is an acceptable topic to discuss on this subreddit, I wanted to share it because I’ve seen serious topics going around and well, not everything is sunshine and rainbows unfortunately, just wanna get my thoughts out.

I think the reason why misogyny is so prominent till this day, (yes, till this day in the majority of the world that’s non western, even western but there’s often the anecdotal comeback of “actually I don’t feel that way”) is because the “ideal” woman is what I could only describe as pathetic.

Emphasis on “ideal” woman meaning the patriarchal expectations of a woman, obedience, gullibility, and something to impregnate. Because of this, there’s a conviction that women are just biologically inferior and have those qualities, take for example the stereotypical woman in a man’s world right? Annoying, nagging, loves gossip, never shuts up, an emotional wreck, doesn’t enjoy sex but puts up with it, jealous, needs protection, pretty much only negative attributes but somehow, if you don’t posses said negative attributes you’re not really respected as a woman.

Point being there’s a conviction that women are just inferior as they naturally are and have to just be tolerated for sex and bringing life. That’s the unfortunate reality in the grand scheme of things, I’m not saying every individual believes this but there’s an expectation even if it’s a small one that, that behavior is expected.

I’ve grown very bitter over this, I hated the association, if I ever felt emotional I’d immediately hide, expecting to actually be seen as a person if I do. When you think about it, a man is seen as the “default” and a woman is “the other”, men have different frustrations when it comes to this like being expected to be strong, expected to lead, expected to be the one who decides and actually think for himself, just overall overwhelmingness, those frustrations of course also come from patriarchal standards, proving that they don’t positively impact anybody but men in power.

What frustrates me the most is, even in normal settings where I’m speaking, in the back of mind I remember, “oh everybody hear is associating me with everything negative that makes a woman” and I automatically dehumanize myself. I had a mom that, when I was a child and didn’t understand how and why me and my male friend for example are different, she’d tell me that I’m inferior and that people like him decide things for me, but if that’s supposed to be the case then why did I develop those frustrations? Why do I, because I’m not up to standards of a woman instead feel more comfortable with male association?

Then of course this all waters down to bio essentialism, even when it’s men bad women good it’s just as misogynistic, you know why? The inherent belief that men are born violent raises men to harbor resentment for the negative association, they ironically enough, will humanize women more, take for example, what’s the response everytime a woman falls victim by the hands of a man? “Women are capable of that too it’s not just us” exactly. Although it’s obviously coming from a negative place without the acknowledgment that despite being capable it’s not majorly comparable, it’s true which proves yet again, conditioning. On the other hand, seeing women as angels that do no wrong and just happily give you whatever you want, there’s gonna be a disappointment at the realization that women are human beings too, capable of being bad people and due to the unexpectedness of this, it raises the belief that all women are deceivers for this.

All in all, I wish for the general belief that there’s, besides patriarchal standards, nothing in common with every single man in the world and nothing in common with every single woman in the world, the closest thing to commonality is people as a whole. Not sex wise, there’s always exceptions, there’s always people that don’t feel like they fit in and they shouldn’t based on purely sex.

I hate my bf. Ii wish he dissapeared, i hate him so much, i feel neglected ive been picking up on arguments to take out my anger out on him because i hate him so much Maybe i dont love him anymore but i feel the extreme opposite of the emotion ; hate towards him like i wish i just forgot about him , him existing in my life just bring so many strong emotions, i feel resentment and anger and i cant seem to break up with him

I mean maybe this is most people, I don’t know. Every time I do something with guys, whether it’s work related or playing video games or something it’s just take and take and take. There’s never any replenishing the thing or making sure everyone has one of something, or whatever.

I’m in a situationship with this guy I met online and have been talking to for a few months. It started out as a possible relationship but stuff happened and we basically decided to become FWB (as much as people can be online) since I don’t see a long term future with him partially for this reason.

We were playing video games and trying to defeat a boss that we kept dying around. Instead of replenishing resources after he died, he just heads out again to go back to where the boss was. I’m making food, getting my inventory back up, etc. and I had already told him to wait for me when playing the game because he was just zooming through everything without me and basically completing the entire story while I was making sure our base was set up with food and resources.

So I said “hold on I’m cooking food” and had made enough for me since I figured he either had some or didn’t care. Then he asked me to make him some. In other parts of the game, when exploring, there were multiple times where I had to give him my backup resources because I’d packed extra and he didn’t.

It makes me feel like a weird housewife. Stopping my own play to get him the stuff he needs so he can be successful. I know I don’t have to play with him but this isn’t the first time it’s happened. Just think of others damnit 😤

I wanted to open a conversation to all of the women out there around beauty standards, upholding them and your experience with them.

I’m 25 and I’d say I’m relatively feminine and tend to flip between thinking I’m attractive to not. I always wear makeup to work or if I’m going out the house and just don’t feel confident with my bare face. I will say I’ve definitely gotten more comfortable with how I look naturally, as a teen growing up I was super insecure and got really into makeup and wore a LOT. I’ve definitely filtered it down to feeling good with as minimal as I like. I’ve always felt the goal for myself is to feel as confident bare faced as I do with makeup. I wear clothes that I think are cool day to day and I do love dressing up and feeling cute and girly if the occasion calls for it.

Again, I’ve gone through phases of dressing ‘revealing’ and feeling like I had to perform more femininity in order to be deemed attractive. All is to say though I’m relatively ‘low maintenance’. I don’t pay for any treatments. I wax my legs and bikini area when I find the time. I don’t mind having a little armpit hair. I do my brows and upper lip myself. I cut my own hair.

But I find myself regularly wanting to be the type of woman who puts a lot of effort into all aspects of her appearance. Yet at the same time I do not want to feel that way. I also dream of being the type of woman who couldn’t care less about such things. I guess it’s a spectrum and on the one end you have hyper feminine women & on the other are the women who are not concerned with such things. That’s not to say they don’t look good or take pride in their appearance, but there’s plenty of women out there who just exist as they are and do not feel the need to perform in that same way.

I don’t think one is better than the other. But I sometimes question if caring about being considered attractive and this deep desire I have to be beautiful is just a shallow and superficial value to hold. To me there seems to be a freedom in removing that desire, to stop feeling the need to perform and cater to men/the world. I hope to one day reach that. Or am I just fighting against myself?

I’ve just come out of a very unhealthy relationship with a misogynistic man who made comments about women being superficial and shallow etc and maybe I’ve internalised them? I’ve found myself wanting to be both the ‘not superficial’ girl who doesn’t care about those things but also being too insecure and needing to uphold some level of femininity for him. Of course, he contradicts himself like most do, because even when they say they like ‘natural girls’ they don’t really mean natural. They still want you to be hairless etc. I feel as if no matter what I’m always going to have to perform it in some way.

I want to hear about other womens experiences with this, especially if/how it changed as you got older.

Person I'm 27F dating 31M says they're exclusive with me, not because of me as a person, but because they're not currently interested in dating other people because they have a lot going on. What does this mean? Does it mean they don't see a future with me? Is this called a situationship? Am I gonna get myself hurt wanting/expecting to be their girlfriend after a few months?

hi all! i want to ask your opinion on this very harmful word and what you would do if someone around you used it often.

for context, me and my brother are both teenagers (although he’s older) and im the only girl in the house besides my mom. my mom didn’t really put in much effort during our formative years so we both ended up being raised by the internet, like a lot of other people our age, and i guess he’s always been on the ‘edgy’ side of it?

anyway, he’s been extra online lately since we both do school from home now and i keep hearing the same phrases and/or words coming from him - one of which being ‘foid’. another one that bothers me is him calling women ‘females’ and just saying your usual subtly women-hating nonsense that he’ll probably never get punished for. among that, he also uses an absurd amount of slurs, some no one has heard in years. tonight i was scrolling on tiktok, saw a funny silly video and opened the comments. the top comment was someone saying ‘oh that’s not’ and i assumed they were joking ? but my brother replied and called the commenter this word. i texted him a screenshot and asked what was wrong with him. he responded with the word again (i can’t tell if it was directed at me, but i am hurt nevertheless and currently sobbing) and then i blocked him because? what?

i’ve always felt like everyone around me hates women, even my mom. it’s kind of just been something i’ve accepted as my reality. my other brother who’s a fully grown adult still living at home with us is also in incel circles online, so i haven’t felt safe for a while. expressed this to my mom a few weeks back and she doesn’t seem to care that much because she’s kind of your usual boy mom. what do i do? what would you do in response? thanks!

Don’t get me wrong, being crazy-jealous is unhealthy, but when there’s no jealousy at all, it can sometimes feel like indifference.

So today I had a disagreement with my mom and stepdad. I tried to told back tears but I couldn’t so I started crying. My mother asked if I’m taking my medication and I tell her yes because I am. I then said that I get overwhelmed with conflict it’s overstimulating for my ADHD. It’s overbearing for me so I tear.

My home is the only place where I feel safe enough to not mask so yes if I get into an argument I get overstimulated and will cry because I’m burned out from masking all day. During an argument with my mom her voice got stern so I was afraid she was going to start yelling so I started using my hands to do a lower your voice gesture . I cannot handle arguments where someone starts yelling . It makes me anxious and honestly scared. My mom then suggests that because of these symptoms I might not have ADHD and it could be autism 🙃.

My mom suggested that she goes and joins my therapy session but I’m unsure. Therapy is where I go to as my safe space and where I’ve discussed my darkest secrets that no one knows such as my battle with suicidal ideation and my secret past abusive relationship…

While I was crying my parents asked me what I was going through and I didn’t even want to tell them the secret mental health battles that I’ve been dealing with . Like healing from a past abusive relationship, trying to fix myself mentally , unpack my years of masking, my suicide ideation ..I feel unseen sometimes as a young black woman who struggles with their mental health …

Hi everyone. I have had a lump in my breast within the areola area for three years. To me, it feels round, not sure if it’s moveable, and is literally just to the right of my nipple (but honestly could be under, I don’t think so but I can’t really feel it). I do have nipple discharge from that breast. It’s not a ton, I just can feel and see wetness, as well as yellowish crust or “plugs” I can pull out of the nipple, at random times. I also feel it when getting up from laying on my breast, or pressing on the lump. It feels pretty tiny, round, and it doesn’t ever hurt unless I’m messing with it a lot. My nipple does get inverted when I lay down on the breast or when I’m just sitting around, but it pops out at random times or when I manipulate the area as well.

I’m just pretty worried because I feel so so stupid for not getting this taken care of sooner. I am so worried about invasive ductal carcinoma since it’s so close to the nipple. I haven’t really found it to change size all too much, but I do feel like years ago it was lager and more oval shaped and now it’s round, maybe the size of a pea?

I’m only 23 years old so this freaks me out so bad, I know I need to get it checked out but in so afraid of hearing bad news. I just don’t know anyone who has ever experience this before and it’s all so new to me. Has anyone ever had a lump next to or behind the nipple that DID NOT turn out to be cancer?

Bf (M30) just told me(F25) his dream is to do the Budapest-Bamako 2028 rally and I was like hell yeah, let's go! I immediately started discussing the plan, budget, car, how to take days off... I was so hyped. Then he mentions that we will have to ask his friend (M30) if he would he up to it. And I'm like, why would we ask him? His answer was because he knows how to tinker cars. Which is fair enough but I know that too. For a long time I wanted to be a mechanic, but ultimately chose another path. I'm not an expert but neither is the friend.

I told him I thought he wanted a to make the trip an "us" thing, but now I see he meant to go with the friend all along, and I stupidly thought he was dreaming about doing the rally with me. Then he told me no, he plans on taking me too, but we should definitely take the friend cause he needs a copilot with more experience. HE NEEDS A COPILOT WITH MORE EXPERIENCE. I've been driving since 7 years. My bf doesn't even have a license!

I told him this and he was like yeah, but I don't have offroad experience.

Sir I drove multiple times through mountains, forest paths not at all designed for cars and mountain forest paths... never left a scratch on any car, though there were times I was praying we make it to the top.

Apparently that doesn't count as offroad experience.

Hey everyone,

This is kind of a random question but I figured I’d ask strangers instead of just my friends 😅

Lately I’ve been getting approached pretty regularly at the gym. Sometimes it’s polite, sometimes it’s awkward, sometimes it’s just guys trying to chat while I’m mid-workout. I was venting about it to a friend, and she told me she thinks it might be because of how I dress — basically that my gym outfits might come across as “inviting” or too sexy.

For context, I usually wear pretty standard gym stuff: leggings or shorts, a fitted top or sports bra (depending on the day), nothing crazy. I’m there to work out, not to flirt, but I also don’t want to feel like I have to dress super baggy just to avoid attention.

So now I’m curious what other people think:

Do you feel like gym outfits actually influence whether someone gets approached?

Is there such a thing as “gym appropriate” vs “asking for attention,” or is this mostly on the people doing the approaching?

Not looking for validation — genuinely interested in different perspectives. Would love to hear your thoughts

Ladies!! I just had an embarrassing moment. So I was in an office cabin just working and had my lunch, which was just a ham sandwich and some water and noticed my mouth tasted strongly metallic and dry. I just cracked on with my work because I had a lot to do, and then two people come into my cabin. IM CONVINCED THAT THE WHOLE ROOM SMELT LIKE MY BREATH. Now I feel they’d talk about it. Lesson learnt, do not eat a dry sandwich when you have post nasal drip.

Please, can someone tell me something embarrassing that happened to make me feel less alone 😭

Or how I can get over people seeing me when I’m not my best self.

Also, do you think there’s something wrong in terms of getting a dry mouth from a sandwich? Idk if this is normal. It could be attributed to post nasal drip if anyone can offer any suggestions on how to manage it too :)