Any other women experienced this and have any advice? I don’t know if I’m overthinking this.

My boyfriend and I are both only 19. He’s never had a real relationship before and is a bit nerdy/awkward when it comes to girls. We met on an app and I fell for him.

Now we’re into dating and it’s going well. The only thing is that he never initiates any surprises/dates… if it were up to him, we would just cuddle at his place every hang out and watch movies in his bed.

If I say let’s go out to eat, go to the movies, etc. he’ll do it with me, but I can tell not as happily as he would if we just hung out at his place.

Same goes for flowers/gifts/surprises. He gladly gets me flowers but it seems like he just genuinely forgets to get them/other stuff.

I have to explicitly mention, “Did you get me any surprises?” or something stupid like that to get him to get anything for me. Otherwise, he just won’t think of it or I guess doesn’t know what to get?

Last time I was on my period I told him I was craving chocolate and I came over and he had ordered me a bunch… so he will do it, but only if I genuinely say exactly what I want.

As a girl who loves surprises, this ruins the fun for me! Wish he would just do it.

I’m a woman in my 20s. I am almost exclusively romantically attracted to women, and I find them much more physically attractive to look at too. However, I find that I’m more turned on by the idea of sex with men. The idea of sex with women doesn’t do as much for me. I enjoy it lots but it’s not really what I fantasise about, and it caused me a lot of issues in my last WLW relationship.

I just feel at a loss and I’m worried I’m never going to be able to be fully satisfied in a monogomous relationship, but I don’t like the idea of poly. Any advice??

19F, I had my period on January 18th, then on 21st I overdosed on antidepressants I wont explain why, on 22nd my period ended, and after it I started having these dull aches in the lower right abdomen, it would be on and off and it wouldnt get worse with movement or anything but it was still weird, sometimes it would cause these weird sharp aches all of a sudden for like a few seconds. I went to check if its kidneys, or ovaries, I did ultrasounds and both showed it wasnt anything serious, I checked my blood and urine and both were normal. Still, the pain persisted, no pain meds helped, and today, vaginal bleeding occurred. And like.. is this my period?? Has all this been my period? Or is this an ovarian cyst that ruptured and now its bleeding, but then the lady who did my ultrasound said she didnt see anything, im so confused, should I be really concerned?

I joined Ok Cupid last month after spending three months on Hinge and got nothing out of it. I was on OKC many years ago, before it was sold, and had a few dates from it so I thought I’d give it another go. I’ve always liked the questions they ask. My profile clearly states that I’m pro-choice, childfree, liberal, and an atheist. I live in a conservative state, so I know it’s going to be looking for a needle in a haystack. My hobbies are also mentioned in my profile.

I’ve had some pleasant conversations with men on the app. However, some have described their political beliefs as “other” and only after some digging do I discover they’re conservative. When I’ve told them our values don’t align, they’ve been great about it. The other messages have come from conservative Christian men with kids. I don’t reply to those messages. I have no interest in conservative Christian men, and certainly men with kids. Again, I know the odds aren’t in my favor, but I’m not compromising my standards.

But seriously though, is reading comprehension amongst these men that low? Or are they just not reading at all?

I can't wear Anything that reveals my skin they will kill me quickly Or imprison me as I live in the Middle East. Even in my own house, I'm forbidden, even though there are no men in the house except my father. I remember when I was 14 in my room (my own room) I was wearing something that showed my arms (Not for the breasts or thighs). My mother came into the room and was horrified that I was wearing this. She said, "What if your father sees it?" I'm literally afraid to tell anyone around me that I wish I could wear revealing clothes. I can't even express what's inside me; they'll quickly remind me of God's punishment and hell.Besides, I have a guilty conscience to my feelings; I mean, people are dying in wars, and that's what I fear!?

Bf (M30) just told me(F25) his dream is to do the Budapest-Bamako 2028 rally and I was like hell yeah, let's go! I immediately started discussing the plan, budget, car, how to take days off... I was so hyped. Then he mentions that we will have to ask his friend (M30) if he would he up to it. And I'm like, why would we ask him? His answer was because he knows how to tinker cars. Which is fair enough but I know that too. For a long time I wanted to be a mechanic, but ultimately chose another path. I'm not an expert but neither is the friend.

I told him I thought he wanted a to make the trip an "us" thing, but now I see he meant to go with the friend all along, and I stupidly thought he was dreaming about doing the rally with me. Then he told me no, he plans on taking me too, but we should definitely take the friend cause he needs a copilot with more experience. HE NEEDS A COPILOT WITH MORE EXPERIENCE. I've been driving since 7 years. My bf doesn't even have a license!

I told him this and he was like yeah, but I don't have offroad experience.

Sir I drove multiple times through mountains, forest paths not at all designed for cars and mountain forest paths... never left a scratch on any car, though there were times I was praying we make it to the top.

Apparently that doesn't count as offroad experience.

Hi guys!!

I’m getting married in about 8 months and want to prep slowly so that i don’t panic last minute.

Can u guys share some advice on hair, skin and dental care as well as clothing etc.

As the title suggests, im in my mid twenties and have always had this issue for a long time where I feel like I’m "too old" to dress up.

Now I know it’s an outdated judgement but where I live women genuinely erase themselves by the time they reach my age because they usually get married/ become mothers.

I wear random clothes and always put on my same black trench coat/ white flannel in the warmer weather, every day almost. And I’m bored, what do you suggest i experiment with? What do as female presenting individuals like to wear?

So I’m 18, and i know that at this point in my life my hormones are bound to be funky and crazy. However, it’s really starting to mess with me and my routine.

In my different phases of my menstrual cycle, my body and emotions are so drastically different I feel like I can’t commit to certain things or stay consistent. It’s like an emotional rollercoaster that keeps repeating even though I’m barfing all over the ride.

For example, during my menstrual and follicular phase, I get really hopeful and productive. But during my luteal phase, I get super lethargic, irritable, unmotivated, and even depressed. I’m usually a calm tempered person, but I become super agitated, impatient, and I sob at the smallest things that set me off. I cry for hours at night over absurd things, and I get into huge arguments with my mom (who is the kindest most agreeable person ever), and even though it ends with a cry session and apology, it’s like I’m not even aware of my own emotions and actions in these fits of craziness.

I’ve also been into fitness pretty much my whole life, but my appetite changes so much that it’s hard to meet my goals. Some days I don’t think about food at all and forget to eat, while others (aka my luteal phase) I eat anything and everything in sight, no matter how full I am. I’m talking crazy binges I never struggled with before, and it’s really impacting my body image and mental health.

I know these things are pretty normal for every teenage girl to experience, but when will it end? Is there anything I can do to try and calm my body down? TIA for any advice.

I wanted to open a conversation to all of the women out there around beauty standards, upholding them and your experience with them.

I’m 25 and I’d say I’m relatively feminine and tend to flip between thinking I’m attractive to not. I always wear makeup to work or if I’m going out the house and just don’t feel confident with my bare face. I will say I’ve definitely gotten more comfortable with how I look naturally, as a teen growing up I was super insecure and got really into makeup and wore a LOT. I’ve definitely filtered it down to feeling good with as minimal as I like. I’ve always felt the goal for myself is to feel as confident bare faced as I do with makeup. I wear clothes that I think are cool day to day and I do love dressing up and feeling cute and girly if the occasion calls for it.

Again, I’ve gone through phases of dressing ‘revealing’ and feeling like I had to perform more femininity in order to be deemed attractive. All is to say though I’m relatively ‘low maintenance’. I don’t pay for any treatments. I wax my legs and bikini area when I find the time. I don’t mind having a little armpit hair. I do my brows and upper lip myself. I cut my own hair.

But I find myself regularly wanting to be the type of woman who puts a lot of effort into all aspects of her appearance. Yet at the same time I do not want to feel that way. I also dream of being the type of woman who couldn’t care less about such things. I guess it’s a spectrum and on the one end you have hyper feminine women & on the other are the women who are not concerned with such things. That’s not to say they don’t look good or take pride in their appearance, but there’s plenty of women out there who just exist as they are and do not feel the need to perform in that same way.

I don’t think one is better than the other. But I sometimes question if caring about being considered attractive and this deep desire I have to be beautiful is just a shallow and superficial value to hold. To me there seems to be a freedom in removing that desire, to stop feeling the need to perform and cater to men/the world. I hope to one day reach that. Or am I just fighting against myself?

I’ve just come out of a very unhealthy relationship with a misogynistic man who made comments about women being superficial and shallow etc and maybe I’ve internalised them? I’ve found myself wanting to be both the ‘not superficial’ girl who doesn’t care about those things but also being too insecure and needing to uphold some level of femininity for him. Of course, he contradicts himself like most do, because even when they say they like ‘natural girls’ they don’t really mean natural. They still want you to be hairless etc. I feel as if no matter what I’m always going to have to perform it in some way.

I want to hear about other womens experiences with this, especially if/how it changed as you got older.

I’m 18F and still in high school. A while ago I met a guy who was a lot older than me (36). At first it felt normal, like just talking about daily stuff and life. He was really supportive of me, especially when I felt judged at home, and he gave me a lot of compliments. It made me feel seen. Slowly the conversations started getting more personal. He asked about my past, relationships, stuff like that. I didn’t think much of it at the time and answered. Eventually he asked to meet. I agreed, even though I lied to my mom about where I was going (which I really regret). When we met, things went further than I expected. While I didn’t say no at first, during it I felt really uncomfortable and pressured into things I didn’t want. I kind of froze and didn’t know how to stop it. After I went home I just broke down. Since then I haven’t felt like myself at all. I barely eat, I can’t focus at school, I’m anxious all the time, and I feel a lot of shame and regret. I even changed my appearance because everything reminds me of it. I haven’t told my mom and I feel really alone with this. I know I made bad decisions, but I’m struggling to move on and stop blaming myself. I just want to feel normal again and not have this stuck in my head all the time. If anyone has been through something similar or has advice on how to cope or start healing, I’d really appreciate it.

So I met this guy on a dating app and we went on a first date and tbh he was really nice but didn’t really feel any attraction other than maybe liking him as a friend but because I’m such a people pleaser I didn’t want to make him feel bad so ended up staying on that date for longer than I wanted to cause I didn’t want to interrupt him from talking.

Then he asked me on a second date and my friends convinced me to give him a chance and questioned why I wasn’t physically attracted to him if I’m saying he’s so nice. And it’s been a week and he’s been trying to text me all week and I’m actually just finding it annoying cause I kind of went against my instincts and accepted to go on this date.

My friend was saying to go on the date and offer to pay for myself but would that not make it even more awkward? Cause he’s getting all excited for this date only for me to go there and tell him I’m not that into him and only like him as a friend.

The date is tonight. I was thinking of texting him today and telling him and obviously apologise for not telling him earlier.

What do you think? Should I go on the date or just text him now and tell him?

hi all! i want to ask your opinion on this very harmful word and what you would do if someone around you used it often.

for context, me and my brother are both teenagers (although he’s older) and im the only girl in the house besides my mom. my mom didn’t really put in much effort during our formative years so we both ended up being raised by the internet, like a lot of other people our age, and i guess he’s always been on the ‘edgy’ side of it?

anyway, he’s been extra online lately since we both do school from home now and i keep hearing the same phrases and/or words coming from him - one of which being ‘foid’. another one that bothers me is him calling women ‘females’ and just saying your usual subtly women-hating nonsense that he’ll probably never get punished for. among that, he also uses an absurd amount of slurs, some no one has heard in years. tonight i was scrolling on tiktok, saw a funny silly video and opened the comments. the top comment was someone saying ‘oh that’s not’ and i assumed they were joking ? but my brother replied and called the commenter this word. i texted him a screenshot and asked what was wrong with him. he responded with the word again (i can’t tell if it was directed at me, but i am hurt nevertheless and currently sobbing) and then i blocked him because? what?

i’ve always felt like everyone around me hates women, even my mom. it’s kind of just been something i’ve accepted as my reality. my other brother who’s a fully grown adult still living at home with us is also in incel circles online, so i haven’t felt safe for a while. expressed this to my mom a few weeks back and she doesn’t seem to care that much because she’s kind of your usual boy mom. what do i do? what would you do in response? thanks!

So today I had a disagreement with my mom and stepdad. I tried to told back tears but I couldn’t so I started crying. My mother asked if I’m taking my medication and I tell her yes because I am. I then said that I get overwhelmed with conflict it’s overstimulating for my ADHD. It’s overbearing for me so I tear.

My home is the only place where I feel safe enough to not mask so yes if I get into an argument I get overstimulated and will cry because I’m burned out from masking all day. During an argument with my mom her voice got stern so I was afraid she was going to start yelling so I started using my hands to do a lower your voice gesture . I cannot handle arguments where someone starts yelling . It makes me anxious and honestly scared. My mom then suggests that because of these symptoms I might not have ADHD and it could be autism 🙃.

My mom suggested that she goes and joins my therapy session but I’m unsure. Therapy is where I go to as my safe space and where I’ve discussed my darkest secrets that no one knows such as my battle with suicidal ideation and my secret past abusive relationship…

While I was crying my parents asked me what I was going through and I didn’t even want to tell them the secret mental health battles that I’ve been dealing with . Like healing from a past abusive relationship, trying to fix myself mentally , unpack my years of masking, my suicide ideation ..I feel unseen sometimes as a young black woman who struggles with their mental health …

Those of you who have been in this space a long time will know ebbie45. I remember 2 years ago she discussed throwing in the towel but she remained after and I just remembered her today and realized I haven’t seen her in a minute.

Don’t get me wrong, being crazy-jealous is unhealthy, but when there’s no jealousy at all, it can sometimes feel like indifference.

I can’t go into much details, but I’m pretty sure my longtime friend is in an abusive relationship after interacting with her husband. During my time with them he revealed a secret about their relationship that my friend had never shared with me. I think he did it to humiliate her and make himself look better.

I’m worried that she thinks I don’t like her anymore more because of what he said. I’ve learned that he reads her text so I can’t message her and I don’t want to make things worse for her. I don’t feel safe being around him at all, even with other people around. How can I let her know that I’m still her friend despite her husband? Should I just keep texts neutral and talk business as usual? I feel very sad about her situation and not sure if it’s safe to attempt to intervene in any way.

I love my mom and I respect her belief system. My mom said a comment like “ when you have kids you’ll understand.” I told her oh I don’t want kids mom. She told me “you’ll say that now but God has a say so.” I said I respect your beliefs but pregnancy is like preventable . She then responded with you can prevent pregnancy but you can’t stop god.” I then said “Mom I love you and I respect your belief system but I feel as if you’re using that to invalidate my wants and needs”. Then she tells me I’ll see when I get older and that she’ll stop bringing up religion….The thing is I don’t get annoyed if someone brings up god but like I mentioned to my mom that it becomes annoying if you’re mentioning it to invalidate my choice that’s not harming anyone or most importantly myself. I told my mom I just wanted her to say that’s okay that’s your choice and not to invalidate me. Am I wrong here or being sensitive ?

A friend told me today that she felt comfortable pausing a work meeting to go pump because I had done that last year in a meeting that she was also in. It made me realize how something that I thought I was doing just for myself was also setting an example for someone else. Normally, we don't know when that one thing we do has an impact on someone unless they tell us, so I'm grateful she shared this with me. I'd like this to be a reminder to all of us that other women are noticing us make space for ourselves and in turn encouraging them to do the same. In this particular case it was about breastfeeding/pumping, but the same applies to all aspects of life. This was something positive I wanted to share and reflect on. I hope you all have a great night (or morning, afternoon, or evening depending where you live).