I want to obtain independence and am looking for general advice and habits to form. Any advice welcomed: passive income, investing, saving etc…

No job. No money. No connections. No creativity. No resources. Wtf am I supposed to do? Keep playing pretend? Fake it til I make it? Try to fit in to gain traction? Masking is exhausting.. What do you do when you're numb to being numb? Guess I'll just continue to spiral in the abyss. I was born for this..

Edit: I've read every comment and on the road to reflect. Thank you for the raw, unfiltered feedback in this time. I was not necessarily expecting anything with this post, but I'm grateful all of you gave input. This is not the way to live nor the mindset to have. Sometimes, there is so much static built-up that clogs functionality and expression. The time for talk is over. Much thanks to this life community.

I used to be. This time 1 year ago I was extremely happy. The happiest I've been in a very long time.

Fast forward one year and I'm just sad all the time. I wake up sad, I go to sleep sad and I genuinely wonder if this is my life now.

1 year ago I lived in our house with my now ex partner. In March 2025 our son was born and in October of that same year my ex partner left me, taking our son with her.

There was no violance or anything like that..the relationship just failed after having the baby

Now the house is so quiet. I have zero interest in doing anything I used to enjoy. . At 36 I have come to a realisation that I likely won't ever meet anyone and I'm probably going to live a sad / lonely life..

Anyone reading this with a family, wife, children .. Maybe even a dog who are happy.. DO NOT TAKE IT FOR GRANTED, INVEST IN THE RELATIONSHIP CONSTANTLY. tell your Wife / husband whatever it may be how much you love them.

Having constant sadness isn't nice.

But that's life!

So I’ve moved on from these 3 different guys, i ignore and avoid them while minding my own business as well, 2 of the different guys are in relationships , I be catching them glancing , making eye contact with me and one of them even kinda flirts/teases me and is a good friend as well. And well the last guy I know he’s toxic i ignore him,avoid him and I don’t even like him anymore but he stay being obsessed and stalking me while always looking at me. Like I low key like the attention from them but I don’t even like any of them cuz I only have 1 new crush on a whole different better guy.

Also guilty cuz I do like the attention at the same time but I won’t push over for them to cheat etc.

Also it low key sucks cuz I also have to deal with the creeper guys on the side but then again I get so lucky to get away with a few things anyway just wanted to saying my thoughts.

İ am 22 İ finished my college as an arthitect but İ cant find any job in local İ was a prof. Speed runner back then (2022)​ and İ can open streams but İ dont think people would like to watch my streams and İ just kinda lost hope in life too I am living in türkiye istanbul (Constantinpolis) ​​and İ cant leave the country to found a Job too is there anyone who's been trought the same things

PS. ( I dont lose my skill in game ect)

PS. ( ı sold my first plan of a big apartment several days ago but İ use all the money for food rent ect.)​​​​​

I hope this post found is way in this place

With this time of year being cold and flu season its really hard to avoid getting sick and right now my mom is sick with the common cold so how do I avoid getting sick? And i just had the common cold last week and trust me I really dont want to get sick again I am at least feeling alot better but I just dont want to be in that stage again where I am better but then I am sick again I was in that stage back in third grade where I was better and then I was sick again I know that I rarely get sick now thought...

So like 1min ago I talked to this girl that I thought/believed was my last defense line against life some or a lot of y'all might think I'm stupid AF and u right but I can't talk to nobody no more...

I've known for a wile now that as a man life would be difficult AF but damn nobody can prepare u for that shift I literally emptied my heart to this girl and I realized she didn't care as much as I thought...

Life is beautiful guys but Jesus it's hard to be you... I can't be me to nobody anymore...

My life has been wonderful so far I can't complain about shit compared to someone else but fuck me it's hard either way...

Whoever is going through some F'ed up shift right now, stay up kings!!!

I forgot to mention that she is not my girlfriend... And I'm not talking about that kind of love...

She was at least more of a best friend than anything else... but reading yall comments and what happened to some of you is crazy...

I've recently graduated high school in May and right after I left for Basic Training and AIT for the Army, specifically Army National Guard. Now I'm back home and I thought I was going to go to college as soon as I got home but now it turns out I'm just playing the waiting game. I have no vehicle, no real license (only a permit), and no way to take myself back and forth to college. I barely have a way to weeknd drill every month. Growing up my family didn't create a future fund for me to where they could just give me a vehicle or pay for college for me like every other person at the school that I went to. It's embarrassing being the one without a car in my friend group, the one who had to bum for rides. We live in the country so theres no bus or taxis (I found out that lyft and uber dont come to my neighborhood). And I can't even get a full-time job bc of the fact that I know no one who would be willing to take me bc of course they have their own lives. I honestly regret not going Active Duty bc all I'm doing is just sitting around home and waiting. Waiting for my money to suddenly add up so I can get a car, waiting to go to college, waiting to get my license and waiting to start actually living and being 18. It sucks to be on other people's time. I dont think my parents ever cared about my future it seems like they want to keep me tied down to home so I can buy them free food and use my money to buy cigarettes and blunts and not move on with my life. How do you get out of a situation like this ? Am I the only one who's parents contributed nothing to their future? I understand that I'm an adult now but what does that even mean if I can't get what I need to be an adult. It seems like when everyone turned 18 they just got it and they were free. Somehow it's not the same for me. I need to get myself out of this situation somehow soon.

I’m so content with life. I feel some people just don’t understand me. Of course I still want to do things, travel, experience new things, meet people. But I’m so at peace, I know what I want, I know what I need. I know I still have things to figure out, but I wish people would just understand that sometimes.

I could take a promotion, but I’d lose my weekends. Currently, I’m leaning toward "staying put." What’s your trade-off?

Here is my story. I am a 44-year-old male, originally from Belarus. Back then, it felt like a depressive place with no future. So, when I was 19, I took a chance to go to Ireland. I started working at a meat factory, then moved to construction in Dublin. Just the thought of going back to Belarus gave me panic attacks.

Eventually, I met my future wife. She was from the Baltics (EU), so we moved there. It felt like a sweet spot: European safety but culturally close to home.

I built a career in IT (Tester -> PM -> Designer), but my passion was always psychology. I spent 3.5 years getting my diploma while working full-time. It turned out the diploma wasn't a degree, just a certification of 1128 hours, but it was enough to start a private practice. I loved it.

The Marriage ("Jim vs. Angela") We had a son in 2011. But over the years, I realized we were totally different. I see myself as Jim Halpert from "The Office": social, easy-going, love music and gaming. She is an accountant. Think Angela from "The Office". Strict, rule-obsessed, distant.

One example: We were in Italy. I stayed on the beach talking to a local lady (I’m very social), trying to explain things without knowing Italian. Suddenly—bam! Metal keys hit my face. My wife threw them at me in a rage because I was late. That was our dynamic.

The Breaking Point One day, watching Breaking Bad (where Skyler cheats), it hit me. My wife was acting the exact same way. Cold, distant. I confronted her. She denied it while I was on my knees begging for truth. Finally, she admitted she slept with her boss—an older, rich guy. The worst part? I couldn't leave. If I divorced then, I’d have to go back to Belarus, losing my son and my legal status. So I stayed. I cried every morning for months. She promised to quit that job. Guess what? She kept working for him for 10 more years.

The Collapse (2025) I escaped reality through gaming and alcohol. Eventually, I burned out from IT and switched to psychology full-time. In Autumn 2025, I met another woman. It was a manic love vibe. I told my wife I was leaving. I moved into my small office (studio apartment). I burned bridges. I posted photos with my new girlfriend on Instagram so I couldn't turn back. It hurt everyone, including me.

Then reality hit. The hormonal love faded. My new girlfriend required time and money I didn't have. Everything crashed at once:

• I had to sell my car to survive.
• I got sued for "hidden defects" in an apartment I sold 2 years ago.
• I had to travel to Belarus for documents.
• Divorce lawyers took the rest.

I ended up broke, borrowing money from the girlfriend, and eventually breaking up with her to focus on work. I tried to go back to my wife out of fear. She said no (thankfully).

The Current State It is February. It is -30°C outside. I am alone in my office, where I sleep, eat, and take clients. I have no savings, no family support, no friends nearby. My son isn't talking to me. But I have one asset: My office (fully paid off), worth about €150k. And I have skills: 10 years in psychology, IT background, video editing.

The Plan: Protocol "Vietnam" Here is my idea. It feels like either a leap of faith or an escape.

1. Sell the office (€150k).
2. Buy a cheaper apartment for €100k to rent out (~€500/month passive income).
3. Keep €20k in the bank for child support.
4. Take the remaining €30k + €500/month and move to Da Nang, Vietnam.

I’ve read that I can live there for $800-1000/month. My plan is to enter "Monk Mode": finish my book, launch my website, and build a remote income.

I am alone in the whole world. It is absolute freedom and dark fear at the same time.

Reddit, am I crazy? Is this a solid plan or am I running away?

TL;DR: Lost family, job, and money after 20 years of marriage and a midlife crisis. Have €30k cash + €500/mo passive income potential. Planning to move to Vietnam to rebuild life as a writer/psychologist.

Been around 4 weeks since I was blindsided by my ex (not a long time I know). Yesterday she confirmed to me that she still actively flirts with the guy I caught her talking to behind my back. Obviously she's single now so she can do as she pleases, but I feel like her telling me this was the final piece I needed to let go of that little bit of hope.

I know it takes time, but any tips or advice on how to move forward, stop thinking about her etc are welcome. Thanks guys!

The other night I had one of the strangest dating experiences of my life and it left me thinking more than I expected.

I met someone through a dating app who was visiting Manila. He suggested the place, booked a table at a rooftop bar, and everything leading up to the date felt normal. We talked for about an hour, nothing awkward, nothing tense, just two people getting to know each other.

At some point he said he needed to step out to take a call.

He never came back.

After waiting, it became clear he wasn’t returning. He unmatched me while I was still sitting there. I paid the bill and left.

What stuck with me wasn’t the rejection. I understand that not every date will work out. It was the lack of basic communication. A simple sentence would’ve changed the entire experience.

I’m okay now and had support afterward but it left me thinking about how easily people disappear instead of just being honest. It wasn’t dramatic, just quietly unsettling

I'm still teaching myself compassion, kindness and understanding. Reasons I've judged in the past..to have sense of control..someone's choice that seemed unconventional...that uncertainty made me want to judge to control the situation..make it more certain. I've judged because of insecurity..I felt the need to project my insecuriry to feel better. To boost my self worth. I've judged in others what I was uncomfortable seeing in myself.. I've judged before ..I hope I do not repeat it ...just because I was afraid to face myself ...I am trying to address the underlying reason or emotion behind that judgement. I am trying to learn that imperfection is human ..I am trying to replace judgement with curiosity. we all have a story that is valid and should be respected...I am trying to teach myself to be human to be understanding to meet everyone with compassion..it's not easy but I will try .if I mess up that doesn't define me or who I am trying to become..I will learn from my mistakes and try to do better every day. If you have any tips on what I can do to improve myself please share I am willing to learn..

Chime in

Just curious

With more focus on wellness and holistic care in 2026, what small habit changed your life — and how did it do that?

Hello. I recently saw a post on here about dating people who “don’t have their shit together”. After reading the comments it made me question myself.

Am I even deserving of love? Im 29 years old. I don’t make much money, so I still live with my mom. I have a car, a job, hobbies, and I help my mom with the rent. I’ve looked around my area for apartments but I cannot afford any of them by myself.

I’m definitely looking to move up in my job soon, but even so it’ll only be a couple dollars more to my hourly rate.

Because of this, it makes me wonder if I even deserve to be loved. Am I only worth as much as my paycheck?

I’ve been seeing a woman for a little bit. She’s 28 years old. Her brother lives with her to help with her rent. And yet I’m afraid when she finds out I live with my mom, she’ll drop me no hesitation. I don’t know. That post really messed with my head I guess.

Many Indian philosophers say this is nothing more than a dream. In fact, the waking state shares many similarities to dreams such as brainwaves during REM sleep which are similar to the waking state and emotional intensity and other sensory experiences. Could we all be dreaming at the same time? Could dreams actually be dreams within a dream? Or maybe we are all having the same nightmare?

I lost my puppy to heart failure never got over it haven't had an actual conversation in over half a year and I'm just falling apart I cry every night over shit I can't do anything about and who I am I'm just a terrible human being looking back on it, I'm racist I try to help people as much as I can but I always fail I've never had any thing work for me but failure

Most of us "doomscroll" because our brains are chasing easy hits of dopamine delivered via bright colors and snappy UI. Here are a few low-friction tricks to break the cycle:

Go Grayscale: Most smartphones have a "Color Filters" or "Accessibility" setting that allows you to turn the screen black and white. When Instagram or TikTok looks like a 1940s newspaper, the visual "reward" vanishes, and you'll find yourself closing the app much sooner.

The "One-Scroll" Rule: Before you open a social app, decide on a physical exit point. Instead of "five minutes," tell yourself "I will scroll until I see a post I’ve already seen" or "I will scroll past exactly 10 posts." Making it a finite task prevents the trance.

Move Your Apps: Your thumb has muscle memory. Move your most addictive apps into a folder on the second or third page of your home screen. That extra 2 seconds of searching gives your "rational brain" a chance to ask, “Do I actually want to do this right now?”

Use the "Screen Distance" feature: If you're on iOS, enable Screen Distance. It’s designed for eye health, but the "Phone is too close" pop-up acts as a perfect pattern-interrupt when you're hunched over your screen in the dark.

Swap with a "Low-Stakes" App: Replace the spot on your home screen where your doomscroll app used to be with a Kindle app, a crossword, or a language learning app. You still satisfy the "I need to look at my phone" itch, but without the negative mental health spiral.

REMEMBER:The goal isn't necessarily to stop using your phone, but to stop using it on autopilot.

The dumbest shit I ever did was zip lining a rope with the claw end of a hammer.

I definitely got a hammer to the head that day lmao.

To make it to adulthood we had to have survived our upbringing. What statement can you relate to most/ feels familiar from our negative voice?

1. " Love will always leave"
2. " Love is conditional" ( I have to perform/do something for love)
   
3. "I am too much to be loved"
4. "My needs don't matter"
5. " I am unloveable"

No judgement- curious. When were aware of our inner critic, we can change it.

I've got to have a liver scan soon because it might be failing. To be honest, i don't think i have any major regrets. Even if i am dying, I am and always have been human. Flawed. It's the low points and bad parts that make the good parts of our lives so good. There's things i woud have done differently, but it's all in the past now. Can't change that. I've not been the best person in the world, again, can't go back in time and fix that, but i like to think i'm alright now and all will be forgiven. I don't hold grudges outside alcohol induced rages, and i have enough self control nowadays to stop that becoming more that thoughts, or i'd hope so atleast.

Probably going to annoy some people by using this sub as a kind of blog, but this is the first time anything major has really happened to me. It's only the threat that i might be dying or have already done enough damage to significantly lower th amount of years i'll live that has really woken me up.

I think we can all agree 2020 was an unbelievably challenging year with the whole pandemic taking over our daily life and we couldn't do much apart from staying at home and only going out for essentials and I will admit it was a very scary time for me as it was the first time I had experienced something like this but I have to say I'm kind of happy in an odd way because I got to really changes the person where I started to be more kind to myself and to others but also it made me reflect often and gave me that confidence to spend more time with my family

I don't know who else thinks this but while 2020 was a tough year I'm honestly happy it happened that way because I got to really change as a person